“Bain” Song Parody by Rick London c2012 Sung To The Tune Of David Bowie’s “Fame”

Bain Romney doesn’t remember it’s a big blur
Bain, (bain) bankrupting firms while Mitt runs w/the dough

Bain, (bain) His hands off story’s so hard to swallow,
Bain, (bain).

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Bain, Mitt’s explanation is a spin game,

Laundered money to Cayman’s such a fun game (game)

Bain, (bain)

Bain, (bain) bought elevators for his limos,

Bain, & we thought the NAACP speech was a new low

Bain, (bain) caused its partners so much sorrow,

Bain, (bain)

Bain, Mitt’s mouth’s open so he’s lying,

Obama admin says it must be a crime

Bain (bain)

Can Mitt run the land of the free?
We’re learning he’s no Honest Abe,
Saving the Olympics was just a fable,
Mitt are you sane? Was Bain your Swiss Bank babe?

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Is that how you saved? How you saved?

Obama’s not so great but you’re even worst,
Bain, Bain, Bain, Bain….
Don’t you think we wondered what was your offshore tool?
Bain (bain)

And why you bullied in high school on your hair-cutting spree,
There to inflict all your pain,
(Pain)

Bain, bain, bin, bin, bain, bain, bain, bain, bain, bain, bain, bain, bain,

Bain, bain, bain, bain, bain, bain, bain, bain, bain, bain, bain

Bain!

Your view of the Constitution is lame…..

You’ll not be our leader, & married gays will have maiden names…

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Rick London is a songwriter, author, cartoonist and designer.  He founded Londons Times Cartoons (LTCartoons.com) in 1997.  LTCartoons has been Google & Bing’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoons & funny gifts.  He is married to nature photographer Lee Hiller-London and they live in the Ouachita Mountains of Arkansas where they are active hikers.  They work with animal, children, and eco-causes.

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Another Kindle Fire Song by Rick London c2012 “Where Has Ernest Hemingway Gone?” to the tune of “Where Have All The Flowers Gone?”

 

Where have all the bookshelves gone?

Now an Amazon Internet ping

Where have all the bookshelves gone?

A tiny screen’s aglow

Where have all the bookshelves gone,

Kindle Fire’s replaced them every one

Late at night Kindle’s light burns,

And I tap the page to turn.

 

Where have all the classics gone?

Can’t find “The IChing”

Where have all the classics gone,

Kindle’s bright light it glows.

Where are books like Native Son?

Gone to Kindle every one,

It’s glowing light it burns,

Tap pages and they turn.

Where has Ernest Hemingway gone?

Is the Sun Still Rising?

Where has Ernest Hemingway gone,

Or even Nostromo?

Where has John Fitzgerald gone?

Gone the way of The Maltese Falcon.

The Kindle light it burns,

Late at night Kindles burn.

Where has John Grisham gone?

Was he just a lawyer passing?

Where has John Grisham gone?

Without “The Firm” life’s so lonesome.

Where has George Orwell gone,

Loved the animals one by one,

Maybe Kindle Fire’s the one,

To find George’s furry fun.

Where have Stephen King’s graveyards gone?

From “Carrie” to “The Shining”.

Where has Stephen’s novels gone,

Are there no more ghosts?

Where has John Steinbeck gone?

“Grapes Of Wrath” are now Raisins In The Sun.

Lord Of The Flies have turned and flown,

All Gone With The Wind, I’ve learned.

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Rick London is an author, songwriter, cartoonist, and designer.  He founded the Internet’s #1 offbeat cartoons & funny gifts “Londons Times” in 1997. He is married to nature photographer Lee Hiller-London and they live in the Ouachita Mountains of Arkansas where they are avid hikers and love to commune with nature.  Lee Hiller-London is also a designer and runs the popular nature blog HikeOurPlanet.com.

Romney Almost Cut My Hair (Song Parody by Rick London cs2012) Sung To CSN “Almost Cut My Hair”

Romney almost cut my hair,
It only happened ‘cause I was gay,
Didn’t seem like I belonged,
At Cranbrook School…..it was clearly foul play,
If he hadn’t I would have wondered why,
I was a bit effeminate & he a Bogart-type guy,
But Mitt ran on testosterone so his bullying must be done.

I should have fried his hateful bigoted ass,
This man is so beyond bizarre,
I think he has chronic paranoia,
With posthumous baptisms from afar,
His lies are are such a thin veneer,
Wouldn’t buy what he had even if egay was the auctioneer,
He must owe taxes to someone…..

He wants to cut the fat and run the country like an entrepreneur,
He went to the south for cheesy grits & instead got sunny weather;
Romney will never live down the gaffe,
But will separate “We The People from the Thief Of Staff?

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Rick London is a songwriter, author, cartoonist and designer.  In 1997 he launched Londons Times Cartoons  which have been Google’s #1 ranked Offbeat Cartoons on the Internet since 2005.  He also has numerous funny gifts shops which Google and Bing also rank #1 such as Rick London Gifts.  His main cartoon site has lured over 7.8 million visitors and his inventory of products is over 1/4 million and is sold at such venues as Sears, Amazon and many others. He and his nature photography wife Lee HillerLondon with  live and work in the Ouichata Mountains of Arkansas and are active in animal, children and environmental causes.

“Old” To The Tune Of Madonna’s “Vogue” A Song Parody by Rick London

Old by Rick London c2012 Parody To The Tune of Madonna’s “Vogue”

 

(Short note…I’m getting old too; in fact older than Madonna…..I salute her for giving it her best shot) It is interesting

how all of us are slowing down, and yes, I’m a senior now too).

 

Click To Enlarge

 

 

Mighty Old,
Getting’ Old,
So old, old,
Oy vey, old

Just took 2 Plavix for my heartache,
My legs are moving so slow (Butt’s dragging ground)
I see cellulite where I was in shape,
Never learned my lesson public appearances “just say no”.

When I dance I pull a joint in my knee,
Maybe some L-glutamine pills on Ebay,
Should never have pigged out on that Superbowl tray,
Still on my butt on the dance floor, sore.

[Chorus:]

Getting so, Old,
Nausea’s setting in & I’m sick,
Ben Gay, Hey
Come on old.
Menopause no more menstrual flow,
Maybe I’d sound better remixed.

Got my Ensure…my favorite one,

Seemed like yesterday I had the energy of Thor,
And Kaballah for my inspiration,
Now I can’t get up off the floor.

And cone shaped bra so sprite,
With tassels I’d twirl and twirl
For awhile I was even some guy’s wife,
But my new name was Esther and he couldn’t remember it.

[chorus, substituting “groove” for “move”]

Oh I was beautiful and so fit,
Maybe I’ll try Nutrisystems to get re-fit.
Or call Britney Spears my pal,
The only virgin I know is wool,
Oh I want to be young and tall,
And not what I am or….

[chorus]

Old, old.
My CD’s on ITunes U can find it,
Old old,
Menopause with no more menstrual flow.

My garbage I recycle ya know,
And I crush the cans real slow,
My new brand is living green,
Not on Newt Gingrich’s moon trampoline.

How do I look in my tight jeans?
Winning with Charlie Sheen,
Getting’ smelly, walked upstairs,
Remember Playboy…I was bare.

Now its time to say “Goodnight Grace-ee”
For what its worth I’m saving face,
All the cracks I do fall through,
I wish you all a fare adieu

Notice I’m no longer nude,
Needed money, needed food,
Getting old is hard on a starlet,
Getting old, there’s a LOT to it.

Old, old.

Prunes will make you body move
So you don’t get sick,
Old, Plastic surgery if you must,
Or collagen to make your lips grow,
Old, I’ve gotten to
Old.

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Rick London is a musician/songwriter and founder of Google’s #1 Ranked offbeat cartoons & funny gifts, Londons Times Cartoons.  He and his wife nature/wildlife photographer Lee Hiller-London who also creates the popular nature photography blog Hike Our Planet,  live in the Ouichata Mountains of Arkansas and do a lot of mountain hiking.

“Along Comes Romney” Parody by Rick London c2012 To The Tune Of Association “Along Comes Mary”

 How does one vote for a President when every-one on both sides are creeps?
And then there’s Romney.
And there’s Newt being cruel and terse,
Aimed less at Obama than the entire Tea Partee.

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And the Polls they vary,
And whatever happened to that Palin girl the political Barbie chick,
To McCain she was such a tease,
And asked an easy question at the debates & Rick Perry was stunned,
A 3rd grader could answer with ease,

And what a motley crew this bunch,
And if Ron Paul were elected there’d be no govt so no numbers 2 crunch (but every enemy would eat us for lunch)

facebook is the place where bullies dictate you for whom to pick,
Then Huntsman saw the asylum & resigned from the fray,
Who can vote for candidates who live for Donald Trump’s strokes?
Rick Santorum wears that gray sweater for us to trust him but we can’t, not Hathaway.

And then along comes Romney,
Implemented programs so socialistic they make the European Union seem like
The Heritage Foundation

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And as the candidates’ self esteem erodes as the attack-ads its like reality tv,

And Obama’s not so great but he got Osama Bin La-DIN,

Now when I saw the 1st debate they were all eating each other for lunch,
And Newt throws a punch.

They’re all at the podium as if every other one of them has passed bad gas,
And the flatulence makes mere humans out of these political stars,
And now Huntsman is gone,
He’s had enough of the insane battle scars.

Anyone but Romney,

Who says he likes to fire people, but he of course feels their pain in a Clinton-like way.

But when he could shut his mouth he spews some more,
Most of us know when a politician opens his mouth he lies, and spins the truth.

Finally we realize their truth is the only truth, anymore.

At the debates Perry was sure out to lunch, (oops)
And racist Ron Paul hasn’t a hunch.

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I’m a goofy not-to-coordinated mountain man living my dream with my wife Lee Hiller-London. I enjoy writing and creating offbeat cartoons (Londons Times Cartoons) & funny gifts and love quote and wisdom quote gifts at my various shops.