“Bain” Song Parody by Rick London c2012 Sung To The Tune Of David Bowie’s “Fame”

Bain Romney doesn’t remember it’s a big blur
Bain, (bain) bankrupting firms while Mitt runs w/the dough

Bain, (bain) His hands off story’s so hard to swallow,
Bain, (bain).

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Bain, Mitt’s explanation is a spin game,

Laundered money to Cayman’s such a fun game (game)

Bain, (bain)

Bain, (bain) bought elevators for his limos,

Bain, & we thought the NAACP speech was a new low

Bain, (bain) caused its partners so much sorrow,

Bain, (bain)

Bain, Mitt’s mouth’s open so he’s lying,

Obama admin says it must be a crime

Bain (bain)

Can Mitt run the land of the free?
We’re learning he’s no Honest Abe,
Saving the Olympics was just a fable,
Mitt are you sane? Was Bain your Swiss Bank babe?

Click To Enlarge

Is that how you saved? How you saved?

Obama’s not so great but you’re even worst,
Bain, Bain, Bain, Bain….
Don’t you think we wondered what was your offshore tool?
Bain (bain)

And why you bullied in high school on your hair-cutting spree,
There to inflict all your pain,
(Pain)

Bain, bain, bin, bin, bain, bain, bain, bain, bain, bain, bain, bain, bain,

Bain, bain, bain, bain, bain, bain, bain, bain, bain, bain, bain

Bain!

Your view of the Constitution is lame…..

You’ll not be our leader, & married gays will have maiden names…

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Rick London is a songwriter, author, cartoonist and designer.  He founded Londons Times Cartoons (LTCartoons.com) in 1997.  LTCartoons has been Google & Bing’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoons & funny gifts.  He is married to nature photographer Lee Hiller-London and they live in the Ouachita Mountains of Arkansas where they are active hikers.  They work with animal, children, and eco-causes.

Another Kindle Fire Song by Rick London c2012 “Where Has Ernest Hemingway Gone?” to the tune of “Where Have All The Flowers Gone?”

 

Where have all the bookshelves gone?

Now an Amazon Internet ping

Where have all the bookshelves gone?

A tiny screen’s aglow

Where have all the bookshelves gone,

Kindle Fire’s replaced them every one

Late at night Kindle’s light burns,

And I tap the page to turn.

 

Where have all the classics gone?

Can’t find “The IChing”

Where have all the classics gone,

Kindle’s bright light it glows.

Where are books like Native Son?

Gone to Kindle every one,

It’s glowing light it burns,

Tap pages and they turn.

Where has Ernest Hemingway gone?

Is the Sun Still Rising?

Where has Ernest Hemingway gone,

Or even Nostromo?

Where has John Fitzgerald gone?

Gone the way of The Maltese Falcon.

The Kindle light it burns,

Late at night Kindles burn.

Where has John Grisham gone?

Was he just a lawyer passing?

Where has John Grisham gone?

Without “The Firm” life’s so lonesome.

Where has George Orwell gone,

Loved the animals one by one,

Maybe Kindle Fire’s the one,

To find George’s furry fun.

Where have Stephen King’s graveyards gone?

From “Carrie” to “The Shining”.

Where has Stephen’s novels gone,

Are there no more ghosts?

Where has John Steinbeck gone?

“Grapes Of Wrath” are now Raisins In The Sun.

Lord Of The Flies have turned and flown,

All Gone With The Wind, I’ve learned.

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Rick London is an author, songwriter, cartoonist, and designer.  He founded the Internet’s #1 offbeat cartoons & funny gifts “Londons Times” in 1997. He is married to nature photographer Lee Hiller-London and they live in the Ouachita Mountains of Arkansas where they are avid hikers and love to commune with nature.  Lee Hiller-London is also a designer and runs the popular nature blog HikeOurPlanet.com.

Deleting Haters From One’s Group Is Not Always Easy, But Always Necessary

     I live a simple life.  It is what I would call a good life.  I’m not extremely wealthy; nor do I live in a mansion, but I live in a beautiful part of the world, with the woman whom I love, Lee Hiller-London.     

      I have a few digital design, computer, and marketing skills, which makes it easy for me to choose a place I want to live.  Thanks to the Internet combined with those basic skills, I can fairly easily make a living from my living room as can Lee after developing her photos from her hike.  She knows the importance of me hiking several times a week with her as I bring along with my one of my professors told me to call “my genius pad”. Nature has a way of bringing out the genius in the most mundane of all of us.  I remember telling him, “But I’m not a genius. What is the use of carrying the pad? “He responded, “You will be when you jot down the fleeting idea on paper that 99.9% continue to let fleet until they forget it by the time they got home.

     This theory has proven itself over and over again; no I don’t consider myself a genius by any means but I clearly see why the brightest of the bright keep a pen and pad always within reach wherever they are.  

     This week was a very bad week.  No, it wasn’t because I forgot my “genius pad” or couldn’t think up anything funny that would make it as a cartoon, it was people. Personality conflict. 

     I will start with facebook “friend #1. Let’s just call him FBF#1 for now. I rarely talk to him, but I always got along with him growing up. He seemed friendly and occasionally visited one of my more popular facebook groups about growing up southern.   I occasionally like to kid around; just to see if people are awake and paying attention. I found an old movie marquee with Dorothy, Toto and one of the flying monkey-monsters and said, “You guys want believe this but I just discovered a new film on Netflix called “Wizard Of Oz”. It has cool special effects, flying monkeys, a wizard who speaks from behind a curtain, a tornado scene and all kinds of cool stuff. I think it’s going to be a hit.  Most of my friends had this or that funny sarcastic thing to say except for one. 

     FBF#1 was someone I’d known in real life, but not that well…fortunately.  He added, “Oh, and look at the monkey. It looks just like Obama and I didn’t know he was acting too”. 

     I didn’t take the post down immediately nor did I take his racial slur down. He is allegedly a respected man around my hometown, and I wanted people to see who he really was. 

     A few days later he sent me a private message telling me I was so wrong that…ready…..”Some of his best friends are black” (I kid you not); do people still fall for that old faux line?  Worse yet, do people still use it? I guess so. But it gets better.  When the event happened, his icon photo was that of a bright red Indianapolis 500 racecar.  When he wrote me the private message to basically “go straight to hell” (not his exact working but I got the picture”, he had taken off the Indie 500 racecar and found a picture of himself in an office with a black man’s arm around him.  Big buds.  So, within 48 hours, he was able to find that photo to prove his point (thinking I didn’t remember what he had up) and change it to prove me a liar. 

    Sadly, he is not savvy in the least about facebook and bullying. He is more so now.  I not only took a screenshot of what he actually said, and what I actually said, and kept one copy and sent one copy to facebook security.  They are now monitoring his every move. Last I saw he started a group exactly like mine (so he is as original as he is IQ-challenged). I hope he gets 5 times the membership I have. Then he’ll get to have to play arbitrator and see what it’s like when a conflict occurs. And there will be many in his group. He offers no rules or terms of service.  If he goes with what his philosophy is, racism is okay, as long as it is comparing a U.S. President he doesn’t like to a monkey.  He’s in for the time of his life.

     He told me in his private facebook mail to me that I called him a racist, bigot etc.  Problem is I have the actual screenshot which is considered CYBER-DNA proof; and he is lying; so he’s probably lying to others as well.  Good thing he is nobody of any significance. I get the feeling the people who run in his circle would be better off thinking I’m a liar and no good SOB.  All is better that way. They stay out of my way and I stay out of theirs.  But if it ever came to a head. Facebook security thanked me the screenshot; and if he ever causes trouble with it, he’s up against them, not me.  Good luck big bad guy.                            

    More irony is, I couldn’t care less if he doesn’t like Obama.  He can even say so I a tactful way but not attack the candidate as that is not allowed in our group. The same is true of Romney. No personal attacks against people period, politicians or not.  It has worked very well for me. With over 900 members, we’ve only had to ask 7 to leave in a year’s time.

    So I finally caught my breath and that was over.  We live in volatile sensitive times and I realize some people are ill (compulsion is an illness) and they cannot help themselves when posting such filth. I compare it to pornography and in many ways it is. The reaction of the creator of it is meant to do the same thing.  And I don’t allow pornographers in my tweet stream.

     As if that incident was not enough to raise my blood pressure (remember we are trying to keep it down); after 2 major heart attacks and my only arteries working on stents, that kind of behavior especially cannot be tolerated.  In fact, my cardiologist says block it immediately.  Do not get caught up in others neurosis, sociopathic, or psychotic behavior.

     Then two days later I was blind-sided by another one. This time it was a librarian friend from many years ago; about 20 years to be precise.  I welcomed her to facebook when I saw she’d just shown up and invited her to my Southern Group. I then left and went about my business of designing or promoting as I often do. 

      I usually check in every hour or so but something told me to do so earlier.  People were posting their favorite childhood shows as we often do, but there was one problem.  This university educated librarian who has worked with children for years, listed her very favorite as “Amos And Andy”.  Though I understood the post, I did not understand the “no follow up. Let me explain.

     Most of u were about three years old when that show was produced, and most of us found it funny. Of course we did not have a clue what “black face” meant; and that the show was specifically created to use white men and woman to depict African-American men and women to make them seem to have a lower IQ.  

    So she could have easily said, (and felt like I did); when I was 3 I loved Amos And Andy, but of course I was too young and immature to understand that the producers were utilizing the media to further their agenda of insidious (close to Machiavellian racism), and if I had known better at the time, chances are very slim I would have watched it.  I can surely understand why it was taken off the air and removed from syndication and most if not all the law suits against it were lost (by the producers of the show).

     The librarian didn’t understand I was trying to help her I did not say a word in public. I took it private; to her facebook message box.  So she would know I had no intention of embarrassing her but I had to let her know the rules (TOS) which she’d not read.  Of course she really wouldn’t have had to read the rules to know if that was right or wrong.  She’d been to college and worked with kids for several decades. 

     Her answer was, “Then Rick, you might as well fight to keep people from talking about the Bill Cosby Show, Fat Albert, Sanford & Son.  She really didn’t get it.  She thought I was giving her a hard time and that my beef was with childhood favorites that had black characters. 

     My problem was with white racists who produced the shows in a manner that made them funny, hard to hate (the characters were likeable); I l enjoyed the whole cast of Amos And Andy, but I was 3 years old for goodness sake. I am 57 now and the librarian is nearly that age.  Does she think the same now as she did when she was 3? I so, of course therapy is in order and soon.  

      I am not the man I was even ten years ago, and hope I never go back to who he was; he had a few good qualities but he did not live up to the ideals I had set for myself.  And I sure as hell hope that ten years from now, I am still the man I am today.  If I haven’t changed, someone just take me and stick needles in my eyes.  I like a lot of my qualities.  But I am not even close to the type of man I hope I am becoming. 

      But I must have learned and made some positive changes since I was three.  For instance, I know without a doubt, that Amos And Andy (and any black face show) was created for a dual purpose. One was to entertain (and it often did that quite well) and the other was to subtly keep us in a vicious cycle of hating a race of good people, without even knowing why; to think we were better than them, again,   for not even knowing why. 

      My hopes were to give the librarian another chance.  I knew her to be a better person than what she was presenting herself to be.  I’ve worked in major network TV. I know exactly how those slants and spins are done with “agenda shows” and though black face is no longer used, socio-political issues that were barely mentioned a decade ago; are so today. And sometimes that is a good thing. If it gets a message across such as explaining the U.S. Constitution in easy terms, I’m all for it.  Some have a very hard time with it and get it mixed up with their early Sunday School teachings.

     Sometimes the two parallel, and sometimes they are diametrically opposed. Our personal religions and faiths are for us, not for the world.  And the USA is loaded with persons of all kinds of faiths (and many with no faiths at all).  Everyone in this great country deserves equal rights, no matter what they believe, or not (believe).  That is the main item on the “menu” of the U.S. Constitution that makes it so much different than the Constitutions of so many other countries. There are websites now in which you can read the Constitutions of the world; in fact; type in “Constitutions of the world” into Google and it may surprise you to see how very much all our Constitutions are; except for a few little subtleties which make America great.  That one about equal rights for all is one of “the biggies” and unless it flies; we might as well be living in Syria or the former Iraq or Libya.  I wish I were kidding, but any scholarly sociologist or other expert can easily back me up on it.

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Rick London is an author, songwriter, designer and cartoonist.  He founded Londons Times Cartoons in 1997 in an abandoned tin Ms. warehouse. It has been Google’s #1 offbeat Cartoon since 2005 and Bing’s #1 since 2008.  They both also have his funny gifts ranked at #1.  He is married to his love and best friend, nature photographer Lee Hiller London.  who runs the very popular blog HikeOurPlanet.com.  Both enjoy hiking and photographic their beloved Ouachita Mountains at Hot Springs National Park.

 

“Bain” (Parody Song by Rick London c2012) Sung To David Bowie’s “Fame”

Bain, it’s the bain of Mitt’s existence,

Bain, thinks that experience will take America the distance,

Bain, like on Twitter sheeple follow,

Bain, you can’t have depth you must be shallow,
  Bain, where its custom to blame Obama,
    Bain!
Fiscal Shame, what you like is in the limo Bain, money made for Swiss accounting.
Bain, fires lower level management like there’s no tomorrow.
Bain, where Irish Setters are traveling salesmen,  
Bane

Bain co-brands with you & you’re down the drain.  Bain saved the auto industry with just a dollar,
Mitt Romney said…a spokesman for…Bane Bane Bane Bane Bane Bane….
Could it be the best, could it be? Bain corporate welfare all for free,
Is Ann really Mitt’s babe,

Ann looks at Mitt as if he’s manna from heaven or some such place…

Is she a babe for his campaign or  just a 9-5 slave?

Could it be he could be president of these United States?

Really, really?
Or just sit in some backwoods café eating cheesy grits?
Bain, Bain, Bain, Bain
Bain, Bain, Bain, Bain
Is it any wonder you’re an etch a sketch fool?
School, bully are you, haircut for him,
Mitt, Did you know the Cold War’s over?

Bain
Bain, Bain, Bain, Bain, Bain, Bain, Bain, Bain, Bain, Bain

Bain, Bain, Bain, Bain, Bain, Bain, Bain, Bain, Bain, Bain
Bain, Bain, Bain
Such a shame,
We know you’re game,
(whispered)
  Hating the gays, yet feeling so gay

Mitt, Did you see American Beauty,

Sir as President, civil rights for all is your duty,

Silly “pranks” that erode people’s rights…well

Mitt, give it up…. all you are is an SNL skit.

                                                           

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Rick London is a songwriter, author, cartoonist and designer.   He is an avid hiker and animal/nature lover and hikes often with his nature/wildlife photographer wife @LeeHillerLondon of HikeOurPlanet. London founded LTCartoons.com and gifts which have been Google #1 ranked offbeat cartoons since 2005 and Bing’s #1 ranked since 2005.  He owns numerous other shops too bearing his licensed images such as funny tees and funny gifts shop RickLondonGifts.com.

 

Romney Almost Cut My Hair (Song Parody by Rick London cs2012) Sung To CSN “Almost Cut My Hair”

Romney almost cut my hair,
It only happened ‘cause I was gay,
Didn’t seem like I belonged,
At Cranbrook School…..it was clearly foul play,
If he hadn’t I would have wondered why,
I was a bit effeminate & he a Bogart-type guy,
But Mitt ran on testosterone so his bullying must be done.

I should have fried his hateful bigoted ass,
This man is so beyond bizarre,
I think he has chronic paranoia,
With posthumous baptisms from afar,
His lies are are such a thin veneer,
Wouldn’t buy what he had even if egay was the auctioneer,
He must owe taxes to someone…..

He wants to cut the fat and run the country like an entrepreneur,
He went to the south for cheesy grits & instead got sunny weather;
Romney will never live down the gaffe,
But will separate “We The People from the Thief Of Staff?

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Rick London is a songwriter, author, cartoonist and designer.  In 1997 he launched Londons Times Cartoons  which have been Google’s #1 ranked Offbeat Cartoons on the Internet since 2005.  He also has numerous funny gifts shops which Google and Bing also rank #1 such as Rick London Gifts.  His main cartoon site has lured over 7.8 million visitors and his inventory of products is over 1/4 million and is sold at such venues as Sears, Amazon and many others. He and his nature photography wife Lee HillerLondon with  live and work in the Ouichata Mountains of Arkansas and are active in animal, children and environmental causes.

Seamus On The Roof (Song Parody by Rick London c2012) To The Tune Of Frank Sinatra “Strangers In The Night” by Frank Sinatra

Click To Enlarge

Seamus on the roof with the trots & dancing
Such a brutal smite,
In return for unconditional love,
A car covered with doggie doo.

Romney didn’t care pandering cheesy grits to the right wing.
It doesn’t take Descartes,
To know Romney is,  therefore he’s not….               

   Seamus in mid-flight, in a car of people,
It was fight or flight,
Romney never thought it’d make print.
Defecated like jello,
Sprayed down with a hose.
                          When a dog’s love is betrayed,
           It’s way to late to teach sit and stay.

No one likes a canine saboteur,
  A type of torture,
Like pretending to be far right,
But left of Trotsky in the dark of night….

     Your chance of unconditional love went away,
When on top the car Seamus was made to stay.

You hosed him down in cold weather,
    You said he loved it but we’re more clever,
You never felt contrite,

Cause Seamus didn’t bite,

                                                                                                                                                                                                           Doggie doo doo doo.

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Though mostly retired,  Rick London dabbles in songwriting, designing, writing and cartooning.  He loves outdoors, nature and wildlife and hikes his beloved Ouachita Mountains of Arkansas regularly with his nature photographer wife Lee Hiller-London who owns the blog HikeOurPlanet.com.  He founded Google #1 ranked offbeat cartoons and funny gifts LTCartoons.com and numerous designer gift shops.

“Gamblin’ On Generic Soap” Song Parody by Rick London Sung To Kenny Rogers “The Gambler”


Tho my cell was ringin’ I was headed for the shower,
Decided not to answer it, a telemarketing creep.
I walked to the bathroom and stared at total darkness,
I opened the generic WalMart soap I’d bought that smelled so sweet.

I’d been in line at Walmart..so of course I’s still pissed,
Then stopped at McDonald’s ..they supersized my fries,
I returned my Coca Cola..because it didn’t have no fizz,
I checked around the establishment for any visible mice.

So I took a drink of Coca Cola and then had one more sip,
I looked to the sky and there’s no more sun,
So decided to head toward my shower, and call it a night.

We all know buying generic soap is dumb,
Makes some folks stay but most of ‘em run.
They say it has the same makeup of Dove, but that is just a fable,
And when you leave that shower, someone’s gonna grab their gun.

Anyone who showers knows it so enlivenin’
Better than a hot bubble bath that might make you go to sleep.
Whether you’re into abstinence or even if you’re a boozer
If you use Walmart’s generic soap, you’re gonna truly stink.

You’ll smell a bit like oven cleaner mixed with stale cookie dough
Makes you want to say some words that on tv would be bleeped
And so your girlfriend leaves you, and you’re on the floor grievin’,
You could have smelled so sexy, if you hadn’t been so cheap.

You gotta know how to shower, and smell like a flower,
Use a washrag on your chest & face and loofa on your buns
If you use that generic soap you won’t be attractin’ no Betty Grable,
You’re gonna smell like fresh dog doo I promise you my son.

 If you want your friends in hysterics then buy those cheap generics
But don’t expect the girls to say “Let’s go have some fun”
You could pile all Bill Gates’ money right up on your table,

And no matter who your goin’ with, that relationship is done.

So if you see generic soap and decide to buy it on a whim,
Understand those close to you are gonna have to run,
So spend seventy five cents more… that is if you’re able
So nobody’ll smell your bad intentions.

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Rick London is a goofy vegan mountain man who enjoys hiking, writing, cartooning, songwriting, designing and other stuff “that don’t hurt nobody”.  He founded Londons Times Offbeat Cartoons & Funny Gifts which have been # 1 ranked on the Internet since 2005.  His licensed collection of funny gifts is over 1/4 million.   A percentage of all his sales benefits animal, children and environmental causes. He is married to popular nature photographer and designer Lee Hiller-London who operates the blog Hike our Planet

“Trayvon” by Rick London c2012 to the tune of “Leavon” by Elton John

“Trayvon” by Rick London c2012 to the tune of Leavon by Elton John

 

Trayvon, Trayvon counts his money,
  For Skittles and Arizona Tea,
         Not a clue what he’d be encountering,
Down 7/11 way.

He had his iPod on on a rainy day,
And the next we knew he was dead,
And race wars begun,
     Zimmerman claimed self-defense in a fray.

chorus

            And we’ll miss Trayvon,
      Not even yet a man,
              All the world is grieving,
Twas a violent pattern of Zimmerman
            He’d even attacked a policeman.
Just 17 not yet a man,
His name was Trayvon.

The “police”of Sanford found Zimmerman innocent hands down,
Gave him back his gun and said “Goodbye”.
While in the morgue Trayvon lay,
      Enter Justice Department to defend Trayvon against “Law Enforcement” lies,

        What Zimmerman said on tape was f**ing c**n that’s hate to us,
      As he pursued Trayvon from behind,
This wannabe policeman really belongs in Sing Sing,
   And Trayvon quickly died.

He was born on the 5th of Feb to Gladys & Bob,  
And Geraldo says his hoodie shot him dead,
                  But there was rain there was no sun,
The Martins lost a son today.                 

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Rick London is a writer, songwriter, designer and cartoonist.  He founded Londons Times Offbeat Cartoons & Funny Gifts, Google’s #1 ranked.  He enjoys hiking and wildlife and often hikes with his nature photographer wife Lee Hiller-London who founded HikeOurPlanet.com

“Santorum Wants Your Birth Control” Parody by Rick London Sung To Bob Seger’s “Old Time Rock & Roll”

If Santorum’s elected we’ll be by ourselves,
Birth control pills stay on the pharmacist’s shelf,
A vaginal probe sounds a bit too cold,             

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No assistance from the state’s fund dole,
Five  male hands went up on the House floor,
To let Congress decide who’s a saint and who’s a whore,            
Santorum wants your birth control

                 Rick Santorum wants your birth control,
He’ll be in your bed and there’ll be no rock and roll,
                 But every woman who was ever polled,
Won’t give Santorum their birth control

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We all know it takes 2 to tango
I guess we men will keep our sperm in escrow,
And it sounds so political,
Rick Santorum wants your birth control pills,
This politician whose way over the hill,
Next you know he’s gonna want your soul,                           Click To Enlarge
Rick Santorum wants your birth control.

Click To Enlarge

But his political rhetoric has begun to take its toll,
He no longer knows the meaning of afterglow,
And I’ll tell you if the truth be told,

Pfizer will Fed Ex you your birth control.

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Rick London is a songwriter, author, cartoonist and designer.  He founded Google’s #1 offbeat cartoon & funny gifts LTCartoons.com in 1997 which have been #1 Google ranked since 2005 and Bing #1 ranked since 2008.  He has over 1/4 million gifts and collectbles, not just cartoon collectibles but gifts for couples at QuoteGiftShop.com which sells famous love quote gifts and RickLondonWisdomShop which sells gifts featuring famous wisdom quotes.  He is an author with books on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.  He is married to nature photographer Lee Hiller-London founder of nature photography blog Hike Our Planet.  They are both avid hikers and animals lovers.

“Bayer Aspirin For The Passion In Your Thighs” (Parody by Rick London c2012) To The Tune Of Moody Blues “Music In Your Eyes”

I’ve learned I must have a daughter or son,
Cause just making love causes scarlet letter shame,
Nothing can be deep inside you now,
Bayer’s no longer just for headaches is the claim.

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So if by chance you want to be with her,
Her eyes gaze at you like blue skies,
You must learn to disavow,

Bayer Aspirin between your knees cause virgin thighs.
Santorum says you’ll be in hell slowly burning,

But he says there is a holy way.
You must buy her a new wedding ring,
Or a bottle of Bayer  for her knees.

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Remember sex is a chore only for making babies,
I would love to see Santorum debate Mark Twain

And a woman who has prenatal care…is a just a whore.
Lowest on Santorum’s food chain.

Even if your passion is burning,
Acting on it is foul play,
Only Santorum’s good books are for learning,
Not for hetero-lovers and marrieds that are gay.

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Then there’s Mitt’s proxy baptisms with silent spin,
Who won’t even answer calls from the Holocaust Museum.
And while the kids sit in his 4-door,
The Irish Setter’s 8 hours in severe conservative pain.

And while Obama looks it over,
And only his approval rating doesn’t fall,
While the way offtrack GOP focuses on the evils of sex,

Look’s like Barack’s at the 2012 Inaugural Ball.

Click To Enlarge

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Rick London is an author, songwriter, designer and cartoonist.  He founded Google’s #1 Offbeat Cartoons & Funny Gifts in 1997 (which have been #1 on Google since 2005 and #1 on Bing since 2008). He creates designer gifts at shops like Race4TheCase.com which sells unique IPhone Cases etc and RickLondonWisdomShop.com which offers all types of wisdom quote gifts.  He lives with his wife nature photographer Lee Hiller-London in the Ouachita Mountains of Arkansas and they enjoy hiking, nature, wildlife, etc.   One of Rick’s most enjoyable elements of writing is song parody; and (though it often seems he takes sides); he claims, “The candidates ALWAYS write my songs for me. I simply dictate what they say, and rearrange a few words”.