“I Want My ACA” Song Parody by Rick London c2013 To Tune Of “I Want My MTV” Dire Staits

“I Want My ACA” Parody by Rick London c2013 To The Tune Of “I Want My MTV”

march 999 money 4 nothing facebo

I want my ACA.   I want my ACA….I want my ACAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA………………………. 

Now look at all that dough I paid to go to St. Vincents ER while republicans threw a fit,

Now I see my own doctor if I’m in need,
I’m disabled I ain’t workin, that’s the way it is. Suck on that,  GOP.
Hang on a sec….In that jar I gotta pee,
Won’t hire me? I ain’t workin’ Aww the 1% mad. What’s wrong pals take a little hit?

They’s mad cause they can no longer throw me crumbs,
I used to come and go but now I linger
You keep votin’ tea party if you’re sure you’re that dumb.

You’re still angry at Obama but this is only the beginning,
Thinking maybe after Hillary you’ll get one shoe in?
We know we’re patriots but you call us traitors,
But there’s more than Fox on your color TV.

The Tea Party think we’re maggots but spray on dark skin 4 anyone networks that are Hispanic,
And they say they love us if we’ll opt-out of health care,
Is this a joke or are they really that insane?
When men or women hold hands they say “they love them” but “that kind of equality ain’t fair”

Oh good they love us they just hate our sins,
On equal rights they just want a short 5000 year freeeeeeeeze.
They need to get a…new orator,
The last one got taped quoting a percentage & in his pants he peed.

Now Mr. Cruz is the new GOP Czar,
He’s for enough haute GOP haute’cuisine like orange-glazed duck and a pack of TUMS,
What is it mama Michele Bachman’s sayin’ to the camera?
Man, SNL is going to have some fun.
She’s dancin’ with her hubby and they look so poised,
Somethin’ about him makes me think of “Glee”,
I’m disabled and I ain’t workin’, Your lies don’t move me one little bit,
We all pay our taxes and my health care’s free.

Come on guys its like a big 60s love in,
I get to choose my Obamacare for next to freeeeEEEEEE,
The GOP needs a new orator,
Ted Cruz acts like he thinks he’s the Lord,

Now that I ain’t workin’, I should get my ACA for free,
And a SNAP balance so my family I’ll feed,
I ain’t workin, you say “Food….You don’t deserve it”,
But Corporate Welfare is big bucks for freeeeEEEEEE,
You get money for bling but my tofu’s freeeeEEEE.

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Rick London is a songwriter, author, designer and cartoonist.  He is best known for Londons Times Cartoons (LTCartoons.com) which have been Google’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoons and funny tees and gifts since 2005. 

“Bored & I’m Mild” (Song Parody By Rick London c2012) Sung To Steppenwolf’s “Born To Be Wild”

Bathroom jokes aren’t funny,
And my hair is real gray,
Lookin’ for my dentures,
And Poligrip paste.
I get shingles relief with hot cayenne,
Glad I got the extra strength leg and arm brace,
My sleep apnea sounds like machine guns,

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My alarm clock doesn’t phase.

In the shower I try to remember,
  Who are my friends on facebook,
Gas X reduces wind,
   At least I’m not 6 feet under.
   Yeah darlin’ got a case of Depends,
Not quite Magic Mike’s love embrace,
I smoked medicinal pot once but didn’t inhale,
But the brownies sent me to space.

I play Lawrence Welk real loud,
We are bored, bored and we’re mild,
Wow Weren’t Golden Girls so wry,
I’m usin’ ammonia-free dye.

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Rick London is a parody songwriter, poet, author, cartoonist and designer.  He founded Google’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoons & funny gifts & funny tees.  He is married to nature photographer and designer Lee Hiller-London who owns the popular LeeHillerDesigns which sells many online gifts at affordable prices.  Together they live in the beautiful Ouachita Mountains of Arkansas where they hike often and commune with nature.  Follow them on Twitter: @RickLondon and @LeeHillerLondon.

 

 

 

Romney Almost Cut My Hair (Song Parody by Rick London cs2012) Sung To CSN “Almost Cut My Hair”

Romney almost cut my hair,
It only happened ‘cause I was gay,
Didn’t seem like I belonged,
At Cranbrook School…..it was clearly foul play,
If he hadn’t I would have wondered why,
I was a bit effeminate & he a Bogart-type guy,
But Mitt ran on testosterone so his bullying must be done.

I should have fried his hateful bigoted ass,
This man is so beyond bizarre,
I think he has chronic paranoia,
With posthumous baptisms from afar,
His lies are are such a thin veneer,
Wouldn’t buy what he had even if egay was the auctioneer,
He must owe taxes to someone…..

He wants to cut the fat and run the country like an entrepreneur,
He went to the south for cheesy grits & instead got sunny weather;
Romney will never live down the gaffe,
But will separate “We The People from the Thief Of Staff?

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Rick London is a songwriter, author, cartoonist and designer.  In 1997 he launched Londons Times Cartoons  which have been Google’s #1 ranked Offbeat Cartoons on the Internet since 2005.  He also has numerous funny gifts shops which Google and Bing also rank #1 such as Rick London Gifts.  His main cartoon site has lured over 7.8 million visitors and his inventory of products is over 1/4 million and is sold at such venues as Sears, Amazon and many others. He and his nature photography wife Lee HillerLondon with  live and work in the Ouichata Mountains of Arkansas and are active in animal, children and environmental causes.

“I’m In The Secret Service” (Song Parody By Rick London c2012) Sung To Beatles “Do You Want To Know A Secret”

We made sure the meeting with Obama & Santos did go smooth,
We also saw women parading in their underwear…

And glistening,
Cause we’re in the Secret Service,
And we’re all going straight to hell, whoa oh oh,

Paid her,
Then I bought her several beers,
I just love being a sightseer,
Then no taming of the shrew…ewww eww ewww

What am I missin’?
I am in the Secret Service,
I keep promises I don’t tell, Whoa oh oh.

Boasting,
That for Obama the way I clear,
So that you might call me “Dear”,
Impressed with me are you…whoo whooo whooo

You asked for 100 pesos then you said you wanted two,
I felt nobody knew, now I’m sad & blue……

Listen,
Now I’m looking for a job and I can sell,
Maybe a window at Taco Bell…Whoaa, oh, oh

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Rick London enjoys his life as a goofy uncoordinated vegan mountain man who enjoys songwriting, writing, designing, & cartooning.  He is a hiker, nature and animal lover, and supports, animal, children and green causes.  He founded Londons Times Cartoons in 1997 which has been Google’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoons & funny gifts since 2005.  He recently founded the #1 offbeat cartoon hoodie shop PlanetHoodie.com. He is married to nature/wildlife photographer Lee Hiller-London.

Seamus On The Roof (Song Parody by Rick London c2012) To The Tune Of Frank Sinatra “Strangers In The Night” by Frank Sinatra

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Seamus on the roof with the trots & dancing
Such a brutal smite,
In return for unconditional love,
A car covered with doggie doo.

Romney didn’t care pandering cheesy grits to the right wing.
It doesn’t take Descartes,
To know Romney is,  therefore he’s not….               

   Seamus in mid-flight, in a car of people,
It was fight or flight,
Romney never thought it’d make print.
Defecated like jello,
Sprayed down with a hose.
                          When a dog’s love is betrayed,
           It’s way to late to teach sit and stay.

No one likes a canine saboteur,
  A type of torture,
Like pretending to be far right,
But left of Trotsky in the dark of night….

     Your chance of unconditional love went away,
When on top the car Seamus was made to stay.

You hosed him down in cold weather,
    You said he loved it but we’re more clever,
You never felt contrite,

Cause Seamus didn’t bite,

                                                                                                                                                                                                           Doggie doo doo doo.

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Though mostly retired,  Rick London dabbles in songwriting, designing, writing and cartooning.  He loves outdoors, nature and wildlife and hikes his beloved Ouachita Mountains of Arkansas regularly with his nature photographer wife Lee Hiller-London who owns the blog HikeOurPlanet.com.  He founded Google #1 ranked offbeat cartoons and funny gifts LTCartoons.com and numerous designer gift shops.

“Trayvon” by Rick London c2012 to the tune of “Leavon” by Elton John

“Trayvon” by Rick London c2012 to the tune of Leavon by Elton John

 

Trayvon, Trayvon counts his money,
  For Skittles and Arizona Tea,
         Not a clue what he’d be encountering,
Down 7/11 way.

He had his iPod on on a rainy day,
And the next we knew he was dead,
And race wars begun,
     Zimmerman claimed self-defense in a fray.

chorus

            And we’ll miss Trayvon,
      Not even yet a man,
              All the world is grieving,
Twas a violent pattern of Zimmerman
            He’d even attacked a policeman.
Just 17 not yet a man,
His name was Trayvon.

The “police”of Sanford found Zimmerman innocent hands down,
Gave him back his gun and said “Goodbye”.
While in the morgue Trayvon lay,
      Enter Justice Department to defend Trayvon against “Law Enforcement” lies,

        What Zimmerman said on tape was f**ing c**n that’s hate to us,
      As he pursued Trayvon from behind,
This wannabe policeman really belongs in Sing Sing,
   And Trayvon quickly died.

He was born on the 5th of Feb to Gladys & Bob,  
And Geraldo says his hoodie shot him dead,
                  But there was rain there was no sun,
The Martins lost a son today.                 

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Rick London is a writer, songwriter, designer and cartoonist.  He founded Londons Times Offbeat Cartoons & Funny Gifts, Google’s #1 ranked.  He enjoys hiking and wildlife and often hikes with his nature photographer wife Lee Hiller-London who founded HikeOurPlanet.com

“Old” To The Tune Of Madonna’s “Vogue” A Song Parody by Rick London

Old by Rick London c2012 Parody To The Tune of Madonna’s “Vogue”

 

(Short note…I’m getting old too; in fact older than Madonna…..I salute her for giving it her best shot) It is interesting

how all of us are slowing down, and yes, I’m a senior now too).

 

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Mighty Old,
Getting’ Old,
So old, old,
Oy vey, old

Just took 2 Plavix for my heartache,
My legs are moving so slow (Butt’s dragging ground)
I see cellulite where I was in shape,
Never learned my lesson public appearances “just say no”.

When I dance I pull a joint in my knee,
Maybe some L-glutamine pills on Ebay,
Should never have pigged out on that Superbowl tray,
Still on my butt on the dance floor, sore.

[Chorus:]

Getting so, Old,
Nausea’s setting in & I’m sick,
Ben Gay, Hey
Come on old.
Menopause no more menstrual flow,
Maybe I’d sound better remixed.

Got my Ensure…my favorite one,

Seemed like yesterday I had the energy of Thor,
And Kaballah for my inspiration,
Now I can’t get up off the floor.

And cone shaped bra so sprite,
With tassels I’d twirl and twirl
For awhile I was even some guy’s wife,
But my new name was Esther and he couldn’t remember it.

[chorus, substituting “groove” for “move”]

Oh I was beautiful and so fit,
Maybe I’ll try Nutrisystems to get re-fit.
Or call Britney Spears my pal,
The only virgin I know is wool,
Oh I want to be young and tall,
And not what I am or….

[chorus]

Old, old.
My CD’s on ITunes U can find it,
Old old,
Menopause with no more menstrual flow.

My garbage I recycle ya know,
And I crush the cans real slow,
My new brand is living green,
Not on Newt Gingrich’s moon trampoline.

How do I look in my tight jeans?
Winning with Charlie Sheen,
Getting’ smelly, walked upstairs,
Remember Playboy…I was bare.

Now its time to say “Goodnight Grace-ee”
For what its worth I’m saving face,
All the cracks I do fall through,
I wish you all a fare adieu

Notice I’m no longer nude,
Needed money, needed food,
Getting old is hard on a starlet,
Getting old, there’s a LOT to it.

Old, old.

Prunes will make you body move
So you don’t get sick,
Old, Plastic surgery if you must,
Or collagen to make your lips grow,
Old, I’ve gotten to
Old.

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Rick London is a musician/songwriter and founder of Google’s #1 Ranked offbeat cartoons & funny gifts, Londons Times Cartoons.  He and his wife nature/wildlife photographer Lee Hiller-London who also creates the popular nature photography blog Hike Our Planet,  live in the Ouichata Mountains of Arkansas and do a lot of mountain hiking.

“Along Comes Romney” Parody by Rick London c2012 To The Tune Of Association “Along Comes Mary”

 How does one vote for a President when every-one on both sides are creeps?
And then there’s Romney.
And there’s Newt being cruel and terse,
Aimed less at Obama than the entire Tea Partee.

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And the Polls they vary,
And whatever happened to that Palin girl the political Barbie chick,
To McCain she was such a tease,
And asked an easy question at the debates & Rick Perry was stunned,
A 3rd grader could answer with ease,

And what a motley crew this bunch,
And if Ron Paul were elected there’d be no govt so no numbers 2 crunch (but every enemy would eat us for lunch)

facebook is the place where bullies dictate you for whom to pick,
Then Huntsman saw the asylum & resigned from the fray,
Who can vote for candidates who live for Donald Trump’s strokes?
Rick Santorum wears that gray sweater for us to trust him but we can’t, not Hathaway.

And then along comes Romney,
Implemented programs so socialistic they make the European Union seem like
The Heritage Foundation

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And as the candidates’ self esteem erodes as the attack-ads its like reality tv,

And Obama’s not so great but he got Osama Bin La-DIN,

Now when I saw the 1st debate they were all eating each other for lunch,
And Newt throws a punch.

They’re all at the podium as if every other one of them has passed bad gas,
And the flatulence makes mere humans out of these political stars,
And now Huntsman is gone,
He’s had enough of the insane battle scars.

Anyone but Romney,

Who says he likes to fire people, but he of course feels their pain in a Clinton-like way.

But when he could shut his mouth he spews some more,
Most of us know when a politician opens his mouth he lies, and spins the truth.

Finally we realize their truth is the only truth, anymore.

At the debates Perry was sure out to lunch, (oops)
And racist Ron Paul hasn’t a hunch.

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I’m a goofy not-to-coordinated mountain man living my dream with my wife Lee Hiller-London. I enjoy writing and creating offbeat cartoons (Londons Times Cartoons) & funny gifts and love quote and wisdom quote gifts at my various shops.

“Tap The Page” (The Kindle Fire Song) by Rick London c2012 (Parody to the tune of Bob Seger “Turn The Page”)

On the information superhighway
At Amazon dot com..
No need for Google search engine,
At the Kindle Store you won’t go wrong.

 

Boy, girl, man or woman,
Reading more makes you less a bore,
Or did you find it on Google or if you did on Bing,
You’re downloads queued….
Tiny letters are for fools,
 Kindle Fire’s hotter than cayenne,
Kindle is to books like hair is to shampoo..

Reading spam,
And other Internet sins,
I’m Sam I Am,
Just a Dr. Seuss page,
   Just Say No…Autobio by Nancy Rea-gin’,
I read so slow,
    Kindle Fire’s the rage.

Click To Enlarge

Well you’ve just been on facebook…reading someone’s rant,
Wishin’ they’d find a therapist to unload,
  But sorry they feel blue,
   As you’re about to implode,
And you pretend that they’ve unfriended you,
You have a Tolstoy to download

  And the worst they like to stalk….
         Can’t you just be a fan?
But they tell you how to live, how to eat and how to pray…

   All you can say is “Oh man”….
And my wife is taking photos of all those pretty birds
 While someone’s telling me the benefits of Ayn Rand.

Sam I am,
Downloaded a Seuss again,
99 cent special a grand slam,
Leaving readers engaged,
Like a fine bordeaux,
Everybody wins,
Reading slow,
Tap the page

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 The protective case makes it feel just right,
Doesn’t have much weight,
Words in books have synergy,
Like vintage on Ebay,
No more turnin’ pages..nothing on CD,
   Just tap the page.

Jack London or Rudyard Kipling,
       Classics I never really read,
Or Emerson if I desire,
For my daily bread,
Lookin’ at bargain books..appetite is whet,
But ended up w/a CD of the Grateful Dead.

Sam I am,
Or The Road Less Traveled again,
Green Eggs & Ham,
Screen shows a Seuss page,
      There goes my dough,
Downloading a book again,
Broadband’s slow,
Tap The Page.

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Sam I am,
What’s in the bargain bin?
Sam I am,
What’s the new rage.
Readin’ slow,
Tennessee William’s roof is tin,
Paper books are gone,
Tap the page
Readin’ slow,
Readin’ slow.

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Am a goofy vegan animal-lovin’ mountain man just trying to write stuff.  Love nature, wildlife, dogs, cats,  & my wife @LeeHillerLondon.  I founded Londons Times Cartoons in 1997 which has been the #1 ranked offbeat cartoons & funny gifts on the Internet since 2005. I hope you enjoyed.

“Kindle Fire” (Song Parody To The Tune Of Crazy World Of Arthur Brown’s “Fire”) by Rick London c2012

Kindle Fire (By Rick London c2012) Song Parody to the tune of Arthur Browne’s “Fire”

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The yellow arrow I slide to the left & bring you….
Kindle Fire…no pages to turn.
Kindle Fire, Now its so easy to learn.
From Grisham to Robert Burns.
Auto-biographies for which you may yearn,
Gonna download “The Firm”.
Oh the lending library did you find?
I’m now past 50 & book’s small letters make me feel blind
In this electronic age we’re all so refined.
Readings a great way to unwind.
Gonna pay Amazon all that I earn.
Kindle Fire…it’s so much fun.
No pages to turn.
Books are so messy they make ya wanna hurl,
Matters not if you’re a boy or a girl,
Escape into words from the daily grind.
Don’t let paper book letters make u go blind.
Pledge to buy nothing with a bind,
You know to read or fall behind.

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I’m a goofy vegan mountain man who likes to write songs, cartoons, and classic novels.  I’m still working on the 1st classic novel…will update within next century. I founded Londons Times Cartoons in 1997. It has been Google’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoons and funny gifts since Jan. 2005.