Important Films And Books On Narcissism (NPD Disorder And Scapegoating) by Rick London (Chapter 4)

Since posting 3 chapters of my book on my autism and being scapegoated, I’ve been deluged with questions. And that’s a good thing.

Snow White - Disney 1937

Snow White – Disney 1937

Some people are not sure, most feel fairly certain they are not on the autism or Asperger’s spectrum; a few feel they may and are getting tested. If planning to get evaluated, please make sure to “vet” the professional who does so. Not every psychologist or psychiatrist is trained in that area expertise.  Mine has chaired the Arkansas Autism State Board for 35 years and is well-versed in the topic.  Yours does not have to have that kind of qualifications, but it should be someone who is well-versed in, not just autism/Asperger’s but various disabilities and truly knows the topic “inside-out”,  and is not likely to make errors. You don’t want a wrong diagnosis.  You’ve gotten this far.

That is good too. I’m starting the book as “a novice”. No, not a novice at being scapegoated or having autism…have had that all my life (for 60 years). But I only discovered both through the help of some very experienced professionals; I could never have figured that out on my own; though I was able to finally put all the pieces together with the help of some very insightful professionals with over 100 years experience in this area of work. So I’m a novice at “knowing the issue at hand”.  For 60 years I knew something was not quite right, I simply didn’t know what.

Keep in mind struggling with the autism was/is challenging enough.  But add the struggle of a narcissist/scapegoating family who had, while abusing their community powers, also recruited other “flying monkeys” to march to their “hate Rick” campaign, the odds were pretty much stacked against me.   But now I have a chance to live my life, and live it well.  The point I’m making is that I am not unique.  Most disabled persons (born disabled) but rather than diagnosed and treated, are hidden away, abused and/or neglected, have a similar unique challenge.  They eventually have to decide to come to terms with what has happened to them, is happening now, and will continue to happen.  I was, and in some cases still am, punished by those who were supposed to love and help me, simply for having a congenital condition of which I inherited, and over which I had/have no control.  That condition is sad and quite a challenge.  Those who were/are abusive are, I’ve learned, much sicker, and much more cruel than I’ll ever be.

The fact that suddenly I have had a “eureka moment” does not change anything on the outside.  The family and the part of the community they have recruited are ill.  Very ill according to numerous top professionals.  They won’t be getting well anytime soon, if ever and their “We must hate Rick for our own self-esteem” will probably go with them to their graves. It is a much a part of them as breathing oxygen. It is their oxygen in many cases and has been all (of my life). I shouldn’t expect any support from them.  Is that painful?  Of course, but now I am getting support from healthy places, and I realize they will die ill and bitter.  That is what hurts.  The good news is the replacements.  Those who lost the chance to share my love, and there are many (former relatives, friends, etc. are actually the ones who have lost an opportunity).  No, I’m not anything particularly special or great, but I am strong.  Very strong.  None of them could have survived what I have. Not one single one of them. I could have taught them a bit about strength, about character, and about things they’ll most likely never know. Their loss.

People I once looked up to and trusted, never were trustworthy, and never will be, and as my doctors have suggested, in many cases it is best to ignore them, they don’t deserve the honor of my presence, and only address them (or let the government address them) if they continue to try any bullying or abuse (whether directly or through a third-party “flying monkey”.)    Still, I remain very optimistic simply based on the internal changes I have seen, as well as the external ones, that is, suddenly the type of healthy and loving people in my life, of whom I never felt I would have access. And they love, respect and support me back.  To me, that is success. Others may define success however they wish.

Arthur: The Film

Arthur: The Film

So there are plenty of questions of which I don’t have the answers (at this point) though I plan to study it for the rest of my life and learn as much as possible and I promise to share any and all pertinent information that may be helpful. Nobody, under any circumstances should endure scapegoating, and to scapegoat a disabled person is absolutely indefensible and repulsive  facilitated only by the most nefarious characters among us. Funny thing. The Brother’s Grimm in the early 1800’s had great insight on scapegoating and/or NPD (narcissism personality disorder).

If you’ve only seen Sleeping Beauty as a child, I strongly suggest to have an adult look at it.  No story I’ve seen explains the narcissist/scapegoating process like this story. It goes further into only those dynamics but “community/power/money” dynamics as well. Nobody wanted to “get on the bad side of the evil queen”.  After all, they could be her next scapegoat.  She “won by intimidation” (or almost did), but failed only because there was someone honest in the kingdom who could not kill Sleeping Beauty.  A lot of it is corny (it was written for kids), but it was also clearly written for adults.

Snow White is wonderful too with a similar theme to help both children and families of NPD disorder and scapegoating.  Of course Cindarella is also the epitome of the scapegoat child.

There is a tremendous moral to that story; how important it is to sometimes if not often “go against the tide”.  What one might be hearing is only rumors.  Not to put ones dog in a fight that doesn’t belong there.  How envy and hate can be omnipotent in some very sick people (as the queen was) and it happens in our towns, cities and communities all the time.  The other moral is “how one man fights the tide” and wins.  It’s an important story. Disney brought it back for a reason in 1937.  He knew the importance of something that he knew was epidemic if not pandemic.  He wanted the public to know.  And it became one of the biggest box office hits of all time.

If your esteem is down from being scapegoated, here’s the good news. You should pat yourself on the back for having survived. It is the narcissists and flying monkeys among us, who used our good name, who should hang their head in shame.  And if they continue doing it, and you are disabled, it will be worse for them than hanging their head in shame.  I’ll mention the disability webinar later in this blog.  Whether you have autism or any other disability, and you’ve been scapegoated (and/or still are), there’s some good news for you, and some bad news for the perpetrators.

Most of their children’s literature covered such topics. They deemed it important to write it in a format that both parents (reading to their children) and children could understand it, and, if their family dynamics were already in the middle of narcissistic parentel destruction, they could recognize it and get help. The Brothers Grimm knew only a few would, but even if it were only a few, consider the amount of suffering that would be avoided.

Original Sleeping Beauty ~ Brothers Grimm

Original Sleeping Beauty ~ Brothers Grimm

Fast forward several centuries. A novice filmmaker named Walt Disney also considered that topic high on the list of important educational topics. One of his first films “Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs” (1937) was based on the same Brothers Grimm book and covered the topic of NPD disorder and in a way that both the layman, the child and the parents could understand it. Knowing most NPD families are in total denial (for a lifetime),

Disney also knew this important message may only help but a few suffering families. But to him, a few was a lot better than none. It meant lifetimes of avoiding needless suffering (of children who later became adults). Here is a list of other popular films from Arthur to Wall Street to A Streetcar Named Desire…that all dealt with NPD disorder and scapegoating.   Another one, highly recommended but not listed on Wiki is “Gaslight” which won numerous awards.  It is creepy though and very difficult to watch, but clearly explains some of the “crazy-making” in more extreme narcissistic/scapegoating cases.

I recommend to rent these films on Netflix or Amazon for a few dollars. They can much more clearly explain scapegoating and NPD disorder than I can. As I stated, as I write this blog I am still new at “knowing” this is my story.

Film: Basic Instinct

Film: Basic Instinct

Where does the autism fit in? That’s complicated in that the autistic child (and later adult) already has developmental issues. When parents, siblings and the community scapegoat that autistic child, it can be lethal. Fortunately for me, God was apparently looking after me. I wanted to improve. I longed to improve my life. And I kept my faith. If I can do that, anyone can.

If you suspect NPD disorder occurred in your family, chances are there are still “Flying Monkeys” in your stratosphere. There are now ways (legally if need be) to keep them at bay. I strongly suggest a webinar by the Autistic Network. By clicking the image below that says “IPMG” you can register for free.  It is important, and will educate you on your rights, and make your life a lot easier.  I’m looking very forward to it as is my beloved wife Lee.

Click To Register For July 17th Webinar For Free

Click To Register For July 17th Webinar For Free

And though this webinar is targeted toward persons with autism and/or Asperger’s, it will be helpful to anyone with a disability. One of the main focuses is going to be knowing your rights (and what to expect from the ADA (Americans With Disabilities Act) which is part of the Department Of Justice. They are not only interested in your disabilities, but your rights if anyone (whether they be family, friends, strangers, groups, lawyers, you name it, they want to know) if you are being injured,  stalked, or harmed in any way by anyone(s).

Magnolia: The Film

Magnolia: The Film

If you were raised with an un-diagnosed congenital disability, chances are very good you were scapegoated, still are, and there are “flying monkeys” in your life. Groups like this offer you resources and protection.  You only deserve the best. You’ve seen the parts of life that nobody should have to see.  It’s your turn to enjoy your life with no sociopathic “flying monkeys” interrupting in yet more attempts to hurt you via censor, fiscally, or whatever other dirty trick they have up their sleeve on any given day, and believe me they do have dirty tricks up their sleeves, always. They are sick and it doesn’t go away unless they come out of denial and get real professional help. Sadly, the majority don’t.  They are convinced they are well. Very well.

As for you….. Don’t just “Want it”, “Demand It”.  You deserve the best. You always did. And now it really is your turn.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————— Rick London is an author, songwriter, cartoonist and gift designer.  He is actively involved in autism/Asperger’s, animals, nature and children’s causes.  He is best known for his Google #1 ranked Londons Times Offbeat Cartoons and Funny Gifts which he launched in 1997 from an abandoned tin shed in rural Mississippi.

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Lies, Liars & More Narcissists. Scapegoat Autistic Offspring How To Do Damage Reduction

So how does an undiagnosed autistic child (or adult) figure out the issue is a Narcissist Personality Disorder (NPD) origin family including past and current flying monkeys  (FM) from those families and/or friends? Again flying monkeys are minions who do the narcissist’s “dirty work” to attack or harm the scapegoat child (even as an adult); sometimes long after the original narcissist(s) are deceased.  It can be carried on by siblings, friends of siblings, even grandmothers and grandfathers, church or synagogue members; whomever the narcissistic can influence and/or bribe/buy that they know the scapegoat cannot, as they generally do all they can to keep the scapegoat in poverty as long as they can (yet another form of narcissistic parental control).

npd 12 scapegoat rspons One place to start is to think like the criminals they are.  This is not easy for the scapegoat child as he/she is taught never ever to lie.  (What we’re not told is they will do the lying for us, and make sure we are put in situations that make us appear to be the liars).

And I don’t mean to suggest you lie or be a criminal. Just be prepared to ask tough questions to the people from your past you’ve decided to allow into your current life; Ask questions and be silent. You may want to allow none of them contact with you and that is fine.  There are plenty of new communities full of much healthier people willing to offer support.

But, if you decide to give some of the old flying monkeys mercy, learn what some of the FMs who might not be in the FM inner core are hearing from their narcissists on the NPD spectrum.  Then double check it to make sure you heard it right.  It is usually a lie, and often a lie that can be proven (now with the Internet one can get public records (even from a half century ago) with a credit or debit card and the flick of a mouse; not good news for the habitual flying monkeys who are addicted to that lying process (and most are).

From the start, let me make something clear that is so important.  Never ever ask or demand that someone “be on your side” and believe you only.  Jung talked about this.  First it doesn’t work. Second it puts you at the same very low level as the narcissists and their FMs, a place you very much don’t want to be.  Then “they’ve won” in that they’ve brought you down to their level.  Stick with the facts.  If someone shows an interest, show them the evidence. Still, no demands to be on your side “in this fight”.  It’s not a fight.  It is “getting your life back” which is the only battle.  Those people who were once relatives, friends, associates or whatever, are just sad, sick people of the past that hurt you, and possibly tried to do worse.  They didn’t succeed. Now it’s your turn.

Your turn for what?  Not revenge, at least not in the sense that people think of revenge. Don’t ever let them draw you into an argument or debate.  If they try, they are bullying you and that info should go straight to the ADA. I’ve given info on how to contact the Americans With Disabilities Act, and if anyone tries to hurt you now, you have their help.

Success is going to be your revenge.  It may or may not be money.  But it absolutely will be to break the bonds of lies and aspersions that they cast many years ago.  You will be free of those.  And whether you accumulate wealth, or not, there is no greater success than being free of those bonds, and having “the good guys” on your side who are actually in place to protect you.  Is that not success?  You’ve already won the major battle.  Now to build your life the way you’d planned to build it many years ago but were bullied, scapegoated and undermined so that it was assured not to happen.   The perpetrators may have been people to whom you looked up and admired.  They did not deserve that.  They were sick, ugly horrible people, not worthy of your time or attention.

This is the “year of you”.  Let’s build you the way you always wanted to be; even better if you wish.  It is possible at any age. One day in the future, if you deem appropriate, you can forgive them. You can right now if you wish, but it’s not likely to be sincere. You are in the early stages of recovery from what many call “soul murder”.  It is a crime often compared to murder (or rape).  It is definitely child abuse, and it often turns into adult abuse.  Usually the perpetrator(s) are long gone/dead but offspring and their own social/business circles continue the sociopathy.  Now there’s help. Much help.

The scapegoat child (even as an adult)’s fate used to be sealed.  His/her reputation was tarnished before he/she even knew he was “at war” or “in a battle with his family. I, of course, felt really dumb.  But I hadn’t a clue narcissistic parents do everything possible to isolate the chosen “scapegoat child” from its siblings as early as possible.  And who could imagine parents would set up a child to fail (and undermine them if they didn’t) so that they could appear victims of an out-of-control offspring?

Remember, the Internet is your friend.  Now you can check and double check these lies, many times with city and/or county records.  Google “Find County Records” or “Find City Records”.  It often costs about $20 a month to use these services but if you are writing a book or film that requires accuracy and honesty, it is pertinent and well worth the investment.  Or even if you just want to know for yourself (if any of them are true or not, a month or two subscription to such a service can offer empowerment and great peace of mind).  It certainly has for me.

The Flying Monkeys stories can no longer take flight; or only the unwired, those who are on the fringe and quite naive would believe some of the garbage from that kind of drek’s mouths.  They are passe’, archaic, and has-beens.  Most don’t know it, yet; but many are “beginning to get it”.  They are going to have to learn to “make it” on their own, without the abuse of disabled people.  It will be tough for many of them, but they really have no choice (according to the ADA) Americans With Disabilities Act.

Though my own parents knew there was something very amiss with me, they never had me tested for any type of condition or disorder.  It turned out to be autism and Asperger’s (as I have written), and, as I have written, I was hidden away in an “attic bedroom” far away from my other siblings for nearly 12 years of my life (age 6-17).  Job done. Same as solitary confinement (In an autistic child’s mind).   But I didn’t even know such a family dysfunction even existed until age 60.  So where’s the justice? npd autism 66666666666666666666666666666 T

That nightmare existed from age six until age 17 when I was totally/physically abandoned for numerous years until I was so near-death, even the worst dregs of the earth couldn’t not take me back in (I was only taken back in for short periods of time until I could find yet another dead-end nothing job to keep me going as long as possible). It was a gift of God that I had creative and entrepreneurial skills, discovered late in life, that allowed me to build popular businesses from nothing. No money, never more than a few hundred dollars.  So I was “allowed” freedom as an adult as long as I could keep those businesses going. Being a scapegoat child with autism, that was often not very long. npd 2 pretense So, start with a third party, a mutual friend of both “sides of the aisle” who you trust. Ask them a question about yourself, maybe based on a rumor about yourself  you’ve heard elsewhere. The following is just one of several hundred I have on file that have gotten back to me. It is the “But your dad opened that beautiful health food store for you”. When/if you hear the actual lie, ask the friend or relative for a favor.  Ask them if the person who told them the fib might be willing to take a mutual lie-detector test; and then be silent.  If the mutual friend is on the up-and-up, they will usually say (with hesitancy because admittedly it is an odd request) “Sure at least I’ll ask”.

FMs NEVER EVER take lie detectors nor will submit to one even if you, the scapegoat offers to pay for both theirs and yours.  How can they?  Their entire inventory of terror is based on lies. I used to ask that question when such lies got back to me. Now I know the “creator” of such lies never admit they even “knew of them”, much less “created them”.  Occasionally there is a half/or part truth, but that is a rarity, and if there is, it is often nothing they haven’t done themselves, or their friends, or human beings in general. npd flying monkey 2 meme Remember, it is the “big lies” you’re after. The type that can make or break a reputation.  The kind that can make or break a human. The kind that can make or break a spirit. The kind that belongs in best-sellers and top box-office films; and they most certainly will in my case, whether I’m still living or not.  My wife and I have made certain of that as has a very large autism network.

I spoke last month to one of my favorite relatives who, I knew, sadly, was part of the “flying monkey” network.   In her case, it was difficult at best, in that she is married to an attorney who found himself early in life recruited as a FM and they were deep into the FM spectrum before they even reached 40 years old.  They are now in their 80s. npd 3 meme strangers admiration The one thing about this relative is that no matter how much she aged, she was always interested (or so it seemed) in the good and the bad that was happening in my life.  That information seemed to be “our bond”.  She is a tough bird, hence I rarely had trouble telling her much of anything, even the tough parts of my life.  Of course I told these things to Lee (my wife) as well, but by telling unresolved conflicts to an older “trusted” relative, one often gets a perspective that one cannot get from my generation.  Often if I had a problem or conflict, she’d been through something similar and had some sage advice. So I decided to let her know about my definite diagnosis of autism/Asperger’s.  Being from an older generation she asked me where I thought I could have caught it.  She added, “I mean you’ve lived in so many places”. I shook my head and laughed, and told her it was/is congenital, people don’t catch it, one is born with it.  She knew and was very close my parents very well.  She added, “Then how could your parents missed something that big?” npd autism I told her, “That is what we’re trying to find out now.  They also missed vanus, a very severe form of flat feet.” “Rick then surely you caught the vanus somewhere or it was due to injury of all that long distance running, martial arts and hiking.  Maybe cut back on hiking”. I knew this was going to be a difficult conversation. Not knowing yet that I was “the scapegoat child of narcissistic parents (or an ACON), I explained to her that my parents were in their own unresolved battles, and frankly did not have the time to explore everything about me.  They had their “future Realtor of America” and really “Isn’t that all they wanted?”

She always laughed when I said that as she knew that was true. I explained to her that my parents didn’t like me once.  For instance my siblings received nice material inheritances. I added sardonically to my relative, “And I inherited a suitcase”. npd meme 5 ostracism She quipped back quickly, “But your dad did give you that very nice health food store”. There was a long silence (and these long silences gives the scapegoat time to catch his/her breath and realize he/she has caught a flying monkey in a lie). I asked where she heard that (already knowing where she’d heard it as I’d heard it from other mutual friends of my family) and she didn’t answer and changed the subject.

I think I actually surprised her in that, even at her age with her wisdom, she was believing the still-living narcissists. I told her a bank president named Jack T. of the now defunct Bank Of Hattiesburg loaned me the money as well as my partner Doug R.

Jack figured a way to loan my partner and I a whopping $10,000 total.  We needed about eight times that much.  We did what we could (for the rest) using sweat equity. And sweat we did. I was often there until midnight and often 24/7,  decorating and redecorating the store, studying catalogs for hot trending items, learning all I could about nutrition, etc.

My father not only didn’t bank at BOH, he also wanted nothing to do with the health food store, unless he could figure out a way to make money on it.  And of course he did (most of the money that went through that store went to him). He told me he would secure me the corner 875 square foot (perfect) space in a new mall he’d built called “Village Green Mall” if I would rent from him and the rent would be a very low $675 per month. To him low, but to me extremely high.

I assessed the place, Village Green Mall,  and came to the conclusion people would have a difficult time maneuvering in and out of it, or even finding it, given that North 25th Ave. the inward artery had no traffic light, nor did the service road.  He assured me it would be mainly students at USM across the highway and most of them would walk.  Any normal businessperson would have seen the obstacle to traffic, and opted out, as most did.

But when you have autism, at age 28, running marathons and “trying to be a super athlete”, it is easy to talk oneself into believing they can overcome such obstacles, which actually are more basic business principles than obstacles.  They cannot be overcome, and none of the other stores in that once full mall were able to make it past 2-5 years either.  I could run 26 miles, but I couldn’t keep a tiny shop open that had no access road traffic light.  Shows how important basic business principles really are (and to avoid landlords who feel you might not understand them).

npd 8 His assurances were as good as his word.   Very few students could afford or even wanted vitamins or herbs at the time (1978) and most of my older customers also went to the competing store which had about 6 years experience and inventory on me (and easy in/out access). In other words not only did my dad not contribute a penny to The Sesame Seed health food store, he managed to take 24,600 from it in rent.  Rent in a mall that went under (as far as boutique shops which were there when I was).

To my knowledge, it is still open but has tenants such as “EZPay Loans” etc in which people will take a risk taking dangerous turns to get there, simply because they would even deal with a predator lender.   A person wouldn’t make that turn for some overpriced tofu or rice crackers; when they could get it a mile away at an established store and a few years later at a new store called “WalMart” another 1.5 miles away.

So that lie not only didn’t fly but has a backlash that will appear in my book, after I discovered I am able to get those records from the Internet since the business went into Chapter 13 in 1980. Those records are still in the clerk’s office.  The only names anyone will see on them are Doug R.  (my 1st partner who sold out the first year), former USM professor Bill K., and The Bank Of Hattiesburg.  (My late dad’s name is nowhere to be found on the loan papers), as he (and his FMs) have told and continue to tell everyone.  I now know the exact source,  who it was who told my relative in the northeast as I got her to “accidentally” cough it up, and it turned out to be one of the second generation flying monkeys as I suspected.  As mentioned all this is on the Internet county archives and very easy to retrieve which I will be doing for my book.

That FM began making up lies (at least ones that got back to me) before I was 15. I didn’t quite understand what they (the lies) were all about.  Of course with enough therapy, anyone would understand.  Nothing personal, just playing ones role for survival in a very ill NPD family, and my “sin” was being the sane/honest one.  So it goes. Oh, Professional Bill and I decided to try some real estate ventures on our own after the health food crash. We bought some old homes and fixed them up.  In the middle of that, my dad ran him out of town.  He was having “too much control over me” and was “not a good influence”.  Actually he was a very nice person and good influence.  USM apparently thought so too.

Though it has a new name, this is the building where I borrowed the money for The Sesame Seed (my health food store). My father put not one penny into it but took app. $25k in rent moneys.  It was then called Bank Of Hattiesburg.

Though it has a new name, this is the building where I borrowed the money for The Sesame Seed (my health food store). My father put not one penny into it but took app. $25k in rent moneys. It was then called Bank Of Hattiesburg.

That was just one of the many NPD lies that has circulated for years before reaching me (most of them eventually do reach me) as I said.  The majority of FMs do get sick of being minions for a family feud of which they know nothing about, but are commanded by the narcissists in it to take their side and do their dirty work.   They not only eventually stop, but they get so angry over the years they even come to me to let me know what has been happening. So I took all that information to the State Of Arkansas Autism Board Member (for 35 years) who is my acting therapist who assured me that I’ve been dealing with an NPD family.

That is what the attic bedroom isolation was about at age six. It had nothing to do with being a “special child”, it had everything to do with isolating me from the other children. I was the odd one. I blinked my eyes too much. I had twitches, I acted strange. I had autism. I must be punished for that.  And punished I was. The flying monkeys continue to “do their dirty work” as word gets back to me.

But it has died down considerably since my autism diagnosis as such crimes and discrimination against the disabled are taken very seriously (as well they should G.).  I have made it as clear (I only need tell one or two….the rest know within an hoiur or two…that is the way that FM family/minion network works),  as I possibly can to the current living flying monkeys what the consequences will be of further such evil actions (even if it is from a third party), I know the exact source.  The Universe truly has a way of providing kindness and justice if the scapegoat will only grab onto a rope and have patience. The bottom line is disengage, no matter how hard they attack.  All attacks from them go directly to the ADA (Americans With Disability Act) part of the Department Of Justice. npd 14 power Keep in mind that as the scapegoat child (even as an adult), your ability to fight back and resources to do so may be limited. Besides, those type family feuds often last forever and nobody wins. However if the DOJ takes over, the fight has ended (even if the FMs and narcissists don’t realize it at first). That’s why  the ADA exists. Your rights are their business, and they take their business very seriously, no matter what station in life the flying monkeys are enjoying.  Your rights are not only their business, but the FMs and N’s have made a very special effort over the years to make it appear that you don’t have any (rights).  Bullies try their best to do that to their victims.  They are now going to learn otherwise.

My wife and I are listening to one of my network’s webinar on the steps to use to file such a complaint in case this ever happens again, which it could.  I hope everyone can listen. I posted the registration URL on social media yesterday. Please sign up and have a look. It is free, and your rights (that have been taken away) are pertinent.  Knowledge is power and the more you know about your rights, the more it diminshes the FMs/bullies/narcissists.

Meantime, I write these type blogs, not only to compile into a book, but am publishing them sooner than the book; and for free to read, so that others (and this type family dysfunction is omnipotent and we thought it was rare for so long), so that others can get help, or learn from my own mistakes, and not have to shell out money they may not have (for a book) but still get the proper assistance and/or resources. Mark Twain Quote

Were My Cow Cartoons Leading Me To A Healthier Lifestyle? The Story Behind This Londons Times Cartoon by Rick London

 

As the years go by, it never ceases to amaze me how much the more things change, the more they remain the same.  The above LTCartoon was created in 2001. Today is the middle of 2015.  

In 2001, I was an avid meat eater, and I do not say that proudly.  I either wasn’t ready to quit, I hadn’t evolved to know the importance of quitting, or “screw it” as I always used to like to say. When I whimper like this, its not about you, it’s truly about me.  

But no matter what my excuse, and this happened often, my consciousness was still at work, even way back then. It knew better (which is obvious by this cartoon), it simply wasn’t ready to act.

I knew deep down inside this was not something I was supposed to do.  Whether it was by a bit of understanding of karma (2 major heart attacks finally took me down as well as a host of other maladies), before I finally decide to go fully vegan and even then it took dramatic changes in my wife Lee, who started this new lifestyle nearly a year before I did. 

Still, I knew and I’m not sure how, that long ago.  I still shake my head and ask myself, “How could you have done that Rick, to yourself and to those animals?”  “You were reading the most current periodicals on animal sciences. You knew cows, pigs, chickens and other farm animal’s consciousness was quite similar to feelings as was their ideas on raising their own families, and lifetime loyalties (often even more so than humans).” 

“You (again talking to self), claimed to love animals, and for most my life had dogs and cats and volunteered to help strays etc. and they were pets and farm animals were food.  

Everyone is ignorant, including me, before they get wiser, so I can forgive myself for that, but not easily. 

Lee and I have talked about it often.  She has similar feelings about it all.  We spent so many years basically ruining our bodies, bringing in a host of toxins from what is now known as “factory farming”, not to mention causing the death to these creatures for our protein, which is so easy to get through plant sources, and now, every bit as tasty if not more so.

Lee not only the one who helped me transition into veganism, but also eventually move all leather products out of the house (we didn’t have any fur products but they’d be gone too if we had).  I still own one item that contains leather, my hiking boots, and the only reason for that is that I bought them when I was still a carnivore, and I’ve not been able to find vegan replacements that work, though am actively looking and plan to before the end of the year.  

In most the old farm animal cartoons, like this one, in which I’ve placed cows in awkward situations, the theme has always been bovine vs. butcher. Keep in mind I ate almost nothing but meat and potatoes at the time, but deep down I must have known.  

I’d volunteered for years helping farm animals. Maybe that started me thinking about their souls.  It didn’t sink in that they were/are very important souls, but at least the seed was planted.

Over the years of recovering from a lifetime of meat eating, milk drinking, etc., I have decided not to beat myself up too badly, though it still happens at times.  I know I’ve caused pain and damage to many of my animal-friends and their families, and for that it is difficult to come to terms.

But I will.  Meantime, I find myself creating much more “in your face” graphic cartoons regarding the importance of veganism.  I’m being much better to myself. More understanding. More caring. One can hardly offer much care for others without taking care of oneself properly. 

Don’t get me wrong.  People evolve at their own pace, and some never do. I know many will always eat meat, drink milk, and think of farm animals as our food and/or source of entertainment..and dogs and cats as pets (as I did for many years..so I certainly cannot be judgmental and am not).

 That is them, not me.  The best I can help them realize there are other much healthier alternatives that are every bit as tasty, will help them live much longer and improve their quality of life, and if they care, will reduce their carbon footprint, therefore doing their share to help the planet. 

Enjoy. Have a good laugh, and stay healthy.   

Many like this particular cow scary mooovie cartoon on various products at my RickLondonGifts.com shop. 

To see it on numerous gift items, collectibles, and tees click on “Shop Now”……………..

shop now buttonr resize

 

Sincerely,

Rick London

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Rick London is an author, songwriter, cartoonist, and gift designer.  He is best known for launching Londons Times Offbeat Cartoons

& Funny Gifts in 1997, which have been Google #1 ranked since 2005. 

 

 

Can’t Beet Some Movies Or Music The Story Behind This Londons Times Offbeat Cartoon By Rick London

Words.

English language.

Don’t ask me what it is that fascinates me so much with the English language but it is more like “a friend” than “a thing to speak”.  Why is that?  I’ve theorized numerous reasons.

I guess I’ve come to the conclusion that when working in the arts, language is one’s finest arsenal.  The ability of ones work has a direct correlation with ones ability to master the English language (if the artist/or writer lives in America). 

I’d every bit as much enjoy spending a night reading a thesaurus or dictionary than Fitzgerald or Faulkner.  

The English language is extremely generous in its flexibility, its puns, its double entendres, etc.

Why does that fascinate me?  When I first began to learn the “cartoon business” if one can call it a business, I contacted some of t he greatest cartoonists on the planet; Charles Schulz, Dave Coverly, Leigh Rubin etc. I guess my autism came in handy in that I didn’t realize one was not supposed to do that.

I also contacted some others who were not quite as far up on the ladder wrung as they were. Most of them wouldn’t give me the time of day.

But Schulz, Coverly, Rubin, Jon McPherson and a few others chatted for hours with me.  How did I find them?  With some it was not easy. With others, their friends “gave them up” but it took some time talking to them before they came to the conclusion I was no stalker or worse. I simply wanted to learn the business. 

All of the great ones had vocabularies similar to Shakespeare.  I wanted that for myself.  They taught me that reading, (even dictionaries) was a way to accomplish that, or not necessarily accomplish it, but get better at it.  And if one was better at it, one had a leading edge over the competition in cartooning. 

I didn’t realize how important that was until I learned that on any given day, there are approximately 100,000 cartoon properties on the Internet competing with each other. 

So, though I can draw (a little), I cannot draw to the level of what I wanted my cartoon to be.  Sparky (Schulz) told me that about 30% of all the cartoons we see in papers are team efforts, and suggested I write them and “blueprint them”, that is, explain them in detail to the team artist.  If that team artist is good, he/she will understand your vision.  I went through about 100+ illustrators the first few years.  It went from “artistic differences” to “I want to own the entire cartoon; you only write it” etc.  But my mentors suggested I carry on and continue finding talent.  They told me the more cartoons I had, the more likely I was to find better talent.

And that became the truth.  

A funny thing.  Dave Coverly is syndicated by Creators Syndicate and considered one of the best if not the best offbeat cartoonist who draws his own cartoon (in the world). I always got along with Dave; and he knew I had launched Londons Times in an abandoned tin shed in my own hometown because nobody would rent or sell to me.  They thought I was nuts (and starting a cartoon at age 44 didn’t help deter that theory).  Dave didn’t care.  He loved talking about things I also loved to talk about….creative ideas, cartoons, humor, dogs, cats, nature etc.  We could chat forever it seemed.  

About 2 months ago, a familiar name appeared on Twitter.  It was Dave. I’d not talked to him in about 18 years.  We chatted online a bit and I told him about “Useless Humor” (our 18th Anniversary book) which contained quotes and cartoons I’d written.  On a whim, I asked if he’d write a testimonial for me to use on the book.  He wrote a beautiful quote which is on the cover.  

One of my favorite of our cartoons is “Beets”, not because I like beets so much, but because there are so many ways to use the word, which is what I demonstrate in this cartoon (above at the top).  I hope you enjoy it. 🙂 

SO……….Not bad for a tin-shed cartoonist who didn’t know better how to do it right (or wrong) who recruited several teams of some of the best cartoon illustrators available anywhere.  I still think that.  

Or better yet, there is no right or wrong way in cartooning.  Just stay the course, keep the faith, and never give up.     You will want to many times.  Just don’t. 

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Rick London is an author, songwriter, cartoonist and gift designer.  He is best known for his Londons Times Offbeat Cartoons & Funny Gifts which he launched in 1997.  It has been Google #1 ranked since 2005 and Bing #1 ranked since 2008.  

The NPD Family, The Scapegoat Child, And “Flying Monkeys”. The Remedy – by Rick London#the trac

First, thank you to my wonderful, understanding wife nature and wildlife photographer and gift designer Lee Hiller London who has made 2015 “The Year Of The Rick”, that is, I am able to feel comfortable in my development and growth (that never happened) due to un-diagnosed autism, vanus, and NPD Disorder parents (and subsequent “flying monkeys”).  A thought hit me the other day.  I wonder what it looked like to neighbors who knew I was put away in the attic and my other siblings encouraged to go outside to play.  Don’t get me wrong. I had a bike and all the accoutrements to appear to have some normalcy.  But that’s all they were, like braces on my teeth at age 12.    One might ask, “But Rick, you were given expensive braces. How can you say they ignored you or scapegoated you”.  Every child with crooked teeth whose parents had the resources got braces because that can be seen by the public, plus it played into “the perfection syndrome” of the NPD. npd meme 9 Autism cannot be seen, extremely painful vanus (flat feet with shattered joints, cartilage cannot be seen by the public.  Straight shiny white teeth can; futher proof of “all the good they were doing for their ungrateful child”. So I queried a facebook friend who moved into my neighborhood when she was 5 years old with her parents who were very well known and respected in the community.  Normally, my parents did their best to ingratiate themselves to that type.  Not this couple.  Why? Upon asking questions, I asked her a bit about herself several days ago in facebook private message.  As it turns out she is now a grandmother, and has grandchildren diagnosed with autism.  Upon noticing that, she could see many of the symptoms in herself. ADHD was one of them.  That was no big surprise to her as she’d been reading about it awhile.  She is starting therapy next week to try to lessen some of the painful side effects of what appears to be autism (When I say painful I mean emotionally so) such as depression, anxiety, esteem issues, etc. She feels from reading if not full-blown autism, surely somewhere on the Asperger’s Spectrum (of which I can also identify). I have both. npd meme 1 I asked her if she remembered my attic bedroom.  I imagined 50 years later, she didn’t.  I was very wrong.  She not only remembered it, she remembered wondering what the hell was happening at our home as did her parents.  Why were my other siblings out and about, and I was at home brooding in my attic bedroom away from everyone else most of the day after school. I occasionally had friends, but my parents “ran them off” for being “a bad influence on me”.  The only ones they allowed in my life, were the ones that truly were bad influences on me. Some nearly got me killed.  They remained “just fine” in my parent’s book.

My neighbor (and I’m sure many others) knew to a certain degree something was very wrong; she simply didn’t make it that blunt as you can see in her message to me further down the page on the “facebook screen shot”.    The narcissistic parents can be so self-absorbed, they haven’t a clue others nearby are curious at worst, concerned at best. Even 5 year olds (and of course their more worldly/educated parents).  I asked her if I might block out her name and photo and post it in my upcoming book (of which I am blogging various chapters now).  She said, “Not only can you post it, there’s no need to block out my name or photo. I can see quite well what they were doing to you”.  Still I decided to block it out. Her family was very well known and respected and though she’s moved far away, she still visits occasionally.  npd 7 The shocker is that though her loving parents didn’t know she had autism (which she may not), they knew something was different and took a very different approach than my parents did.  They loved her unconditionally and being good with academia, helped her nonstop with her homework and encouraged her to try new things and face challenges. Of course mine did the opposite.  jung meme 3 Here is a screenshot of her memories of me hidden away in the attic.  This was our third home, but our second home in Hillendale, the subdivision my maternal grandfather Marcus London developed, the home that burned down and rebuilt.  The home that I made sure the fire department arrived by calling them and the home where I dragged my 5 year old frightened brother to safety next door at Richard Ward’s home and made certain my older sister got out of the  bathtub and out of the burning home that had smoke billowing through it. She has even noticed that my wife Lee is an angel, learning with me all we can, so our lives are as happy and fulfilling as we deserve. And we deserve good now.  We’ve seen what rough edges can be.

We know what “flying monkeys” can and will do. We now have the tools to stop them in their tracks, with the help of major networks and government agencies if need be, but we know our rights, and we use them accordingly if need be.  I deserve my remaining golden years to be good ones. I spent 12 years in “attic captivity” in a place where NPD tactics were used regularly to create a “scapegoat child” and later a “scapegoat adult”.  The more you read about NPD, the more nauseous one gets.  There’s no way around it. I know I will have to forgive one day, not for them but for me. Meantime, my newfound anger, energy and contacts only drives me to help other families and/or children who might find themselves in similar situations.  

That has become, other than God and my wife, the most important thing.  That story was told often in my family….for a few months.  Then suddenly it disappeared as if it had never happened. I went from “the bravest little boy ever” back to the “snotty bratty kid who could do nothing right”.  Even in adulthood, my siblings never thanked me or acknowledged that I’d saved their lives.  My parents concluded I had, the maid said I did, I’m sure it appeared to next door neighbor Richard Ward I did, at least with my 5 year old brother (as I had him tightly by the arm dropping him off there to safety from the burning home, and finally am sure it is somewhere in the record archives of the Hattiesburg Police and Fire Departments.  

But suddenly it disappeared from my family records.  Rick never saved anyone; or at least it was never brought up again, and I was discouraged from talking to others about it.  It even seemed creepy to me then. Now that I know what that was all about, it is worse than creepy. It is maniacal, yet I’d do my best to save their lives again if put in a similar situation.  They never could help being emotionally ill anymore than I could.  My parents couldn’t help that they had NPD Disorder.  However, they could have gone for help.  They didn’t (to my knowledge).  If they did, it didn’t “take”.  mandalay connie Large blocked2222222222222222222222222

Anyone who knows he/she has not done wrong, longs to clear his/her name; no matter how many years later if it has been tarnished. Often, at first, it is a total surprise as to why it even has (been tarnished). I was never told I had done anything wrong.  I was never corrected for anything above regular childrens “crimes and misdemeanors.   One knows if he has tried his best. I’d not hurt anyone, at least not purposely, and was baffled figure out why their family of birth keeps those “imaginary wrongs” in the public eye.   Though I have a good name outside of my hometown in most cases (even worldwide..and should, I treat my friends and fans as I’d want to be treated), remnants of NPD occasionally resurface.

 I was raised in an NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) home.   NPD is a dreaded emotional disorder in which parents abuse their children, all of them, but particularly the “scapegoat archetype” child, well into adulthood.   That is a necessary dynamic to the NPD (according to Jung and Satir) in order for the NPD model to work.  Make no mistake, the other children; hero, golden, and/or lost child are injured every bit as much.  They simply don’t know it as they get “some soothing” via material possessions, less mental abuse etc. NPD is so subtle, unless one is trained, studied, or looking with a microscope, it can be very difficult to be revealed. In fact it appears the opposite. It appears the victims are the parents and the perpetrator is the scapegoat child. Nothing is further than the truth. In fact it is the overly-sensitive, truthful scapegoat that is chosen for those very qualities in most cases (to be the scapegoat) to the NPD parents.  

The other NPD children, the golden child, the lost child etc. may not have been brutally criticized etc. daily, but they were carefully and artfully manipulated into their roles to help do their parents bidding, and to make certain the “scapegoat child” was hated within the family unit, and then help broadcast it into the community.  Children are not dumb.  They knew early on it was a lie but had to do what they had to do to survive in that family unit.  So they did.  It became habit and possibly even fun.  But a lie is a lie, and even as adults, especially as adults, they know exactly what it is (unless they are just too far gone) in denial.  npd 3 meme parent The narcissistic parents do not recruit friends, they recruit to what are commonly referred as “flying monkeys” named after the flying monkeys from the film “Wizard Of Oz”.  Those FMs are completely unaware, at first, why they are recruited, at least most of them.  Ironically, not only Jung and Satir (and to for the most part Freud, were aware of this entire sick family dynamic, so was Mark Twain. He warned people with his famous quote regarding “getting fooled”.  It pertained to this very issue.  So where is the closure?  Where is the justice that was a lifetime of chaos and capriciousness facilitated by parents who used their scapegoat child as a diversion (for the public) to their own mental illness? 

What is left but “flying monkeys” who, haven’t a clue they were duped, wouldn’t believe it if the best psychologist (or psychiatrist in the world told them), and why do they continue, as if chronically ill themselves to blacken your name, no matter where you live by insidiously broadcasting to local religious organizations, law enforcement, friends, students and even mutual friends of the scapegoat etc. many of whom all tell me what they are up to.  At first some of it thought it was “sort of fun”.  Then they saw the damage that was being done to me.  Then they saw the damage that was being done to them. Then they got sick of it; at least the ones with a little bit of sanity left.  The others continue to enjoy it as it is “what makes them tick”.  They will (most probably) need legal intervention to stop if it invades my space, hurts me in personal or business situations etc.  But it takes what it takes.  Lee and I have a motto in our home and it applies to everywhere we go, “Nobody wants to bully either of us. They may not know it at this time, but they really really don’t.”

Most are sick of them and, like most adults, feel that if one has unfinished business with someone, they should confront that person themselves.  Flying monkeys are cowards.  Cowards of the worst kind.  Some think they are strong and mighty (because they have brought the scapegoat to his/her knees) but quite the opposite.  It was the numbers of them, not any one of them.  It was also the element of surprise in that the scapegoat hasn’t a clue that he/she is “in a war” until way after it is too late.  The negative feedback usually begins early on (and from parents, then siblings, then community) so that’s “just how life is to the scapegoat”, a bit difficult but hey, that is life, right?  No, not even close.  

In real life a person is not purposely undermined on a daily basis by hundreds, sometimes thousands.  The good news.  There is a solution and it can be reversed, and often is.  No one of them could endure, or even come close to endure what the scapegoat has (and deep down every one of them are quite aware of that fact), hence they never confront or even mention any of the “wrongs” to the scapegoat ever. 

When word has occasionally gotten back to me by 3rd parties, I always ask, “What was my wrong?”  Of course all I get is radio silence.  I always then ask, “Do you think you could get them to take a lie detector test with me?  I’ll gladly pay for it.” Again radio silence.  That has happened so many times, it is what led me on my two decade journey to finally discover exactly what the issue was, and the issue was not me, it was a  horrid social/mental disorder of which my parents suffered called NPD. npd meme father 2 Recently, I mentioned it was discovered that I have autism. I mentioned this to several relatives, close relatives (or as close a birth relatives that I might have).  One does not “catch autism” as if it is an airborne disease, it is congenital.  One relative had nothing to say except, “Well we didn’t know much about autism back then.”  I followed up, “Why wasn’t I tested?” 

She continued, “Well if we didn’t know much about anything why would we have you tested?”  I responded, “Then why at age 6 was I hidden away in an attic far removed/isolated from my other two siblings?  (radio silence).  I knew then my parents knew there was indeed something very different about me. It turned out not to be a disease, but a gift.  But a gift of which they were ashamed, since it was so different.

When emailed from me to one blood relative of my autism he replied, “Funny, I have a bit of dyslexia and I volunteer with some local doctors and we get great results. I’m very interested in yours. Please tell me more as my wife’s niece has a mild case of it, hence we have it on both sides of the family”. (In other words, “Shut up, Rick. You’re making a big deal over nothing.  Sorry your autism was never diagnosed. Live with it.  The rest of us are doing just fine with my wife’s niece with her mild case.”)

Unless he is totally naive, which is very possible, I think he thought I’d listen to his garbage and just let it go.  He thought so very wrong.  I will one day let it go. though, but of course that’s another season. Now is not that season. Now that I am in touch with it, know what it is, and finally know what it is I am battling and learning to grow, develop, and learning to live comfortably with  it, I won’t stop, especially given the NPD/flying monkeys continued behaviors, until the world is extremely aware.  That is a promise.

If anything happens to me, there are 25 others writing with me in the autism/Asperger’s network and they are very familiar with my case and the players.  FYI, there are no “mild cases” of autism or Asperger’s. One is either on the spectrum or not.  There are different places on the spectrum of which they are, but that isn’t mild or intense, it is autism, a different way of thinking. Period. Only the most ignorant and uniformed would call autism “mild”.

 I almost couldn’t believe what I was reading in the email, and then remembered it was from a related (one of the core) “flying monkey” recruiters. I showed that to my PhD psychologist expert who simply shook her head.  She knew what I’d been up against for many many years, and how very cruel it was, and is; as are the people involved in such virulently negative behavior. 

It’s way too late for them to continue the flying monkey routine and think it is productive. If anything it is simply more “grist for the mill” for our publishing and/or productions to do anything possible to help other families avoid it, or if they are already on the narcissism spectrum, how to change the dynamics from extremely sick to healthier, and possibly to healthy (with the right professionals).  So the more they “act out”, the more information we have on various “worst-case scenarios”.  As I mentioned, some “writers” who are not quite aware they are writing the ending….are writing the ending of my story 🙂  

My wonderful wife Lee seems to have a very instinctual understanding of it all, and is very supportive.  I am very lucky for that.   I get so much more done in my personal life, my business life, and now my educational life (that is in helping others understand what is happening to them with NPD and/or un-diagnosed autism/Apserger’s; and “flying monkeys and cruel/ignorant families.  She is a brilliant writer with excellent contacts and knows how to complete my project, and will, should something happen, along with the autism network.  It will be completed, no matter what. 

My blood relative added, “In 4th grade mom and dad learned I had ADD so mom threw me a Valium, put me on my bike and sent me to school. It’s a wonder I ever made it to adulthood”.  Then he added an “LOL” at the end of that statement as if that were funny, and of course another subtle request for me to “stop making a big deal out of nothing”.  

Of course those of us who are halfway studied, understand that child abuse is anything but “nothing”.  It could only make me wonder how he has raised, and is raising his own children.  I shudder to think.  Hence the isolation and subsequent mental abuse.  Possibly a part of them felt the abuse would “change those differences”.  I had tics, I blinked my eyes incessantly, I flailed my hands and numerous other obvious movements.

Healthy parents would have at least had their child assessed by a child psychologist. Even a mediocre one in those days knew enough about autism to know it was “not something to be cured” but something to be educated in a different manner (special education) and in my case it would have simply been “the gifted program” and I would have fared quite well. Keep in mind after the parents are deceased, with nothing, of course, but unfinished business, not just with their scapegoat but with their golden child and lost child, what happens.  Long before the parents are deceased, the siblings of the scapegoat learn they can join in with the abuse, and this for the most part keeps the focus off them, and their imperfections. 

Remember, NPD is all about ambiance, (the way things look and seem to the general public) and they must seem as perfect as humanly possible; even if that means “creating a scapegoat” as “the one who is always trying to mess things up”.  That scapegoat actually is, but not because he/she wants to, because he/she has to. He/she has been programmed by the sick parents to do so, and if he/she doesn’t misbehave, he/she can and often is criticized even more severely and for longer periods of time.  This is the parent’s “alarm bell” to say to them, “See, we are perfect and we are doing the best we can, but we’ve been cursed with this demon child” who cannot do anything but wrong.   And wrong I could do. I must have responded to my programming with such preciseness, they were quite proud (while badmouthing me the whole time). npd meme 9 A recent flying monkey reared his ugly head not more than a few months ago.  He lives in Houston and contacted several local businessmen of which I have a good relationship.  They wondered why, if he had a gripe with me, he didn’t simply contact me.  He grew up in this area, but really didn’t know them or vice versa.  One spilled the beans and let me know what he was up to.  I contacted the ADA (Americans With Disability Act). When I tell you they are on your side (if you have a disability, and believe me you do whether you have autism or NPD or both).  The casting of aspersions stopped as rapidly as they started.  I called for a complete federal investigation (and would again next I hear of one). 

I now have heart disease and high blood pressure (and civil rights) and if they do anything to affect my health due to my disability (and now that is what the flying monkey business is about), they are asking for prison time.  And I am willing to help them pack their bags.  I can no longer be run over, not by them, and not by an unsuspecting third party they “recruit in innocence”. 

The healthy places I’m now going in my life, are they don’t “want to go there” places…not because they don’t want to, because they can’t. Unless they come clean (which is highly doubtful), they will remain bitter sick “flying monkeys” into the grave.  As sad as that sounds, it happens every day.   Plus they are no longer invited. I now know who they are and their sick sick game. They do not have the honor of my company, even in proxy by 3rd or even 10th party “flying monkeys”. 

They will have to create their own new fantasy life that does not include me.  Maybe new scapegoats (Though I don’t wish that on anyone, a “flying monkey must have a scapegoat” in their minds, in order simply to “be”, to “exist” if you will.  Many do not understand that yet. They will when my book and subsequent film is produced, though.  The flying monkeys are writing the ending.  They simply aren’t aware of that fact yet.  Maybe now they are aware now, or figured it out awhile back. 

They’ve been writing it for the past 1.5 years.  I hope they like what they’ve written thus far. I mention that part of the story because one cannot do enough for narcissists.  The “scapegoat role” is way much more important than anything so temporary and expected as risking ones life to save there’s.  Thankfully there are still people alive who remember that incident, and I believe the fire and police departments keep that kind of thing on record.  npd flying monkey 2 meme Never try to satisfy a narcissist. They do not look at you as human, only as a tool to further their role as victim and covert abuser. Mark Twain knew that. Jung knew that, Virginia Satir knew that, and for your own peace of mind, please learn and know that. Twain possibly knew more (by instinct, not training) than any other in contemporary history on the dysfunctional family.  Often he felt it necessary to describe it from a child’s point of view.  Huckleberry Finn is chock full of quotes regarding this type dysfunctional family as well as other dysfunctional type family dynamics.  Mark Twain Quote If you are someone’s flying monkey, do the healthy thing and distance yourself. If you find yourself unable, get professional help. They will give you the tools to do so.  To abuse a child is unforgivable. To abuse a child with autism, or any such disability is beyond unforgivable. It is the definition of abuse and sin.  Even in the best of conditions, any scapegoat child would have had a very difficult time moving forward and grow as his/her peers. To stunt that is evil (in the serial killer level of evil….the dynamics are the same; having others/minions do the “soul murder” by carrying out their dirty work, but keeping their hands clean). Didn’t someone named “Manson” use similar dynamics in the 60s?  

True, it is difficult to see the similarities…..unless you’ve been the victim of this type of crime, but it is easy to see that the dynamics were/are identical. The narcissist makes the rules of who is bad or good, and then sends out “flying monkeys “to punish them”.  It’s pretty clear.  The narcissists hands are clean and rarely if ever puts such orders in writing.  The flying monkeys get the blame if caught.

  I’ll be clear.  As sick as these people were/and current ones are, I don’t compare them to Manson and his evil crimes.  (He is a monster), only the dynamics of their crimes.  The dynamics are exactly the same.  The perpetrator’s hands are clean.  Their flying monkeys have all the blood on their hands, and like Manson’s “flying monkeys”, don’t most (not all) but most, don’t even have a clue they are being used, and their best interests are not at heart.  Often they are given “gifts” or other material things to make them forget that.  The ones who continue it are the ones who never had moral or ethics in the first place and if they’ve passed middle age, they still have a chance to get well, but that window is closing rapidly. 

Make no mistake, it is a brutal horrible inexcusable crime (that rarely goes punished); except for the inner-demons and very low self-esteem that exists in any narcissist and “flying monkey”.  That is the extent of their punishment unless legally made to stop.  And that is my goal; plus to educate others as how to do the same.   The difference is Manson’s poor victims never had a chance to get help and understanding as to what happened to them.  Soul murder is different.  A victim does get that chance, if bright enough, but it won’t be due to the flying monkeys sharing private information or handing them the key from bondage.  It will be from self-awareness, education, and very good professional people who understand “the whole game” very well. In fact they see it daily.  They are the best psychologists that profession has to offer.  

And I have several of them working with me personally, and several more in my network.  I hate writing that, and don’t want to think it, but it is true (according to textbook psychology and psychiatry).  It is a type of murder (soul murder) that lasts a long time. Sometimes a lifetime.  Sometimes the scapegoat gets lucky and with a lot of help, figures their game out, and how it can and must stop (not just for my own good, but for theirs as well).   It is even more difficult to write, given that many of the central players of the “flying monkeys” are blood relatives to me, but I don’t call them “my relatives” when mentioning their names.  It is best for healthy people to not have association with someone like that; in fact pertinent.  Pioneer NPD therapist Virginia Satir understood the dynamics of an NPD family possibly better than anyone.  Here are her “Five Freedoms”….. npd virginia Satir If you find you are the family scapegoat of an NPD family, find a way to get the information into the community.  This type family crisis is fixable, or at least treatable so that the amount of abuse and flying monkeys are minimal, and you get to lead the productive healthy life you deserve.  But first one must confront every “demon”, and stop worrying about making waves.  As Shakespeare most briefly stated, “To thine own self be true”.  jung wolf ——————————————————————————————————————————————————————— Rick London is an author, songwriter, cartoonist and gift designer.  He is best known for his Google #1 ranked Londons Times Offbeat Cartoons which he launched in 1997. His funny gift shops are very popular as well.

The Story Behind Brookus Brotherus Cactus by Londons Times Offbeat Cartoons (Rick London)

A little bit behind this cartoons:  See below it…………..

I was fortunate to have neighbors growing up whose parents had retail businesses.  So when I went away to college and needed jobs, I didn’t always have to wait tables, though I often did.  More often than not I found myself working in mens fashion in large department stores in Dallas or later in Washington, D.C. (when I was in between jobs).

One thing I didn’t expect after leaving my tiny little burg of my birth, was the seriousness in which people took their retail merchandise.  The proper mens shirt/tie combination was closer to a deity than “an outfit”.

Others looked at some of the more elaborate brands as if they were created in a lab by Einstein, Hawking or even Al Gore.

I don’t mean to sound haughty or erudite (and of course anyone who uses the word “erudite” obviously is; but I digress.

My point I want to make is, I was in my early twenties.  I liked nice clothes, but I didn’t see a big mystique in something that was made with polyester and/or cotton and a needle and thread.  Correct me if I’m wrong but things happening at NASA aroused my curiosity more so than things happening at Neiman’s.

I spent most of my days after school, or on days I didn’t have classes at Richland College at a downtown Dallas store called Saenger-Harris, which competed with Neiman Marcus, and I think is now defunct, but it was very nice.  But not NASA.

However, it was a Saenger-Harris that I learned about color and how to match ties and shirts and pants and even sports coats or putting them together for displays in suits and how to “pick up the colors and make them shine” in that display window.

I would crack a bit of a smile if I “did it right” as I knew that put my name on the list of possibly getting a raise (if I did it often enough).  Others (and I’m not making this up) would actually applause, as if the mannequin was a live actor who had just won an Emmy.

Needless to say, I did not end up working in a physical retail store in my adulthood (except on rare occasions when I needed jobs between media and/or writing jobs) which much closer matched my skills (what few I had).

Ironically, I actually am in retail (to a certain degree) though I don’t work with the public. I actually design clothes and gifts, using my imagines and/or concepts that are digitally designed onto clothing, mugs, etc and sold through online retailers.

And again ironically, much of what I learned 40 years ago, is useful today in dealing with wholesalers, manufacturers and retailers who sale my licensed goods.

I’ve come full circle and in many ways I am, again that 20 year old kid, wondering just how I was going to “conquer the world”, something I never quite fully did, but I’ve had a really fun time trying.

Though “Brookus Brotherus Cactus” is now about 15 years old, it remains a very popular gift and tee item for collectors or gift givers.  If you want to see how it looks on one of my items…..

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Narcissistic Parental Disorder, Flying Monkeys, And Denial, Oh My….What Now? by Rick London

First, thank you to my wonderful, understanding wife nature and wildlife photographer and gift designer Lee Hiller London who has made 2015 “The Year Of The Rick”, that is, I am able to fill comfortable in my development and growth (that never happened) due to un-diagnosed autism, vanus, and NPD Disorder parents (and subsequent “flying monkeys”). 

A thought hit me the other day.  I wonder what it looked like to neighbors who knew I was put away in the attic and my other siblings encouraged to go outside to play.  Don’t get me wrong. I had a bike and all the accoutrements to appear to have some normalcy.  But that’s all they were, like braces on my teeth at age 12.    One might ask, “But Rick, you were given expensive braces. How can you say they ignored you or scapegoated you”.  Every child with crooked teeth whose parents had the resources got braces because that can be seen by the public, plus it played into “the perfection syndrome” of the NPD.

npd meme 9

Autism cannot be seen, extremely painful vanus (flat feet with shattered joints, cartilage cannot be seen by the public.  Straight shiny white teeth can; futher proof of “all the good they were doing for their ungrateful child”.

So I found a neighbor who moved into my neighborhood when she was 5 years old with her parents who were very well known and respected in the community.  Normally, my parents did their best to ingratiate themselves to that type.  Not this couple.  Why?

Upon asking questions, I asked her a bit about herself several days ago in facebook private message.  As it turns out she is now a grandmother, and has grandchildren diagnosed with autism.  Upon noticing that, she could see many of the symptoms in herself. ADHD was one of them.  That was no big surprise to her as she’d been reading about it awhile.  She is starting therapy next week to try to lessen some of the painful side effects of autism (When I say painful I mean emotionally so) such as depression, anxiety, esteem issues, etc.

npd meme 1

I asked her if she remembered my attic bedroom.  I imagined 50 years later, she didn’t.  I was very wrong.  She not only remembered it, she remembered wondering what the hell was happening at our home.  Why were my younger siblings out and about, and I was at home brooding in my attic bedroom away from everyone else.  She knew to a certain degree something was very wrong; she simply didn’t make it that blunt as you can see in her message to me.  

I asked her if I might block out her name and photo and post it in my upcoming book (of which I am blogging various chapters now).  She said, “Not only can you post it, there’s no need to block out my name or photo. I can see quite well what they were doing to you”.  Still I decided to block it out. Her family was very well known and respected and though she’s moved far away, she still visits occasionally. 

npd 7

The shocker is that though her loving parents didn’t know she had autism (which she may not) but chances are good she does, they knew something was different and took a very different approach than my parents did.  They loved her unconditionally and being good with academia, helped her nonstop with her homework and encouraged her to try new things and face challenges. Of course mine did the opposite. 

jung meme 3

Here is a screenshot of her memories of me hidden away in the attic.  This was our third home, but our second home in Hillendale, the subdivision my maternal grandfather Marcus London developed, the home that burned down.  The home that I made sure the fire department arrived by calling them and the home where I dragged my 5 year old frightened brother to safety and made certain my older sister got out of the  bathtub and out of the burning home that had smoke billowing through it. She has even noticed that my wife Lee is an angel, learning with me all we can, so our lives are as happy and fulfilling as we deserve. And we deserve good now.  We’ve seen what rough edges can be. We know what “flying monkeys” can and will do. We know how to stop them in the tracks, with the help of major networks and government agencies if need be, but we know our rights, and we use them accordingly if need be. 

mandalay connie Large blocked2

Everyone who knows they have not done wrong, longs to clear their name; no matter how many years later if it has been tarnished. Often, at first, it is a total surprise as to why it even has (been tarnished). One knows they have tried their best. They know they’ve not hurt anyone, at least not purposely, and they can’t figure out why their family of birth keeps those “imaginary wrongs” in the public eye. 

 Though I have a good name outside of my hometown in most cases (even worldwide..and should, I treat my friends and fans as I’d want to be treated), remnants of NPD occasionally resurface.  I was raised in an NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) home.   NPD is a dreaded emotional disorder in which parents abuse their children, all of them, but particularly the “scapegoat archetype” child, well into adulthood.   That is a necessary dynamic to the NPD (according to Jung and Satir) in order for the NPD model to work. 

Make no mistake, the other children; hero, golden, and/or lost child are injured every bit as much.  They simply don’t know it as they get “some soothing” via material possessions, less mental abuse etc. NPD is so subtle, unless one is trained, studied, or looking with a microscope, it can be very difficult to be revealed. In fact it appears the opposite. It appears the victims are the parents and the perpetrator is the scapegoat child. Nothing is further than the truth. In fact it is the overly-sensitive, truthful scapegoat that is chosen for those very qualities in most cases (to be the scapegoat) to the NPD parents. 

npd 3 meme parent

The narcissistic parents do not recruit friends, they recruit to what are commonly referred as “flying monkeys” named after the flying monkeys from the film “Wizard Of Oz”.  Those FMs are completely unaware, at first, why they are recruited, at least most of them.  Ironically, not only Jung and Satir (and to for the most part Freud, were aware of this entire sick family dynamic, so was Mark Twain. He warned people with his famous quote regarding “getting fooled”.  It pertained to this very issue. 

So where is the closure?  Where is the justice that was a lifetime of chaos and capriciousness facilitated by parents who used their scapegoat child as a diversion (for the public) to their own mental illness? 

What is left but “flying monkeys” who, haven’t a clue they were duped, wouldn’t believe it if the best psychologist (or psychiatrist in the world told them), and why do they continue, as if chronically ill themselves to blacken your name, no matter where you live by insidiously broadcasting to local religious organizations, law enforcement, etc. most of whom all tell me what they are up to.  Most are sick of them and, like most adults, feel that if one has unfinished business with someone, they should confront that person themselves.  Flying monkeys are cowards.  Cowards of the worst kind.  Some think they are strong and mighty (because they have brought the scapegoat to his/her knees) but quite the opposite.  It was the numbers of them, not any one of them. 

No one of them could endure, or even come close to endure what the scapegoat has (and deep down every one of them are quite aware of that fact), hence they never confront or even mention any of the “wrongs” to the scapegoat ever.  When word has occasionally gotten back to me by 3rd parties, I always ask, “What was my wrong?”  Of course all I get is radio silence.  I always then ask, “Do you think you could get them to take a lie detector test with me?  I’ll gladly pay for it.” Again radio silence.  That has happened so many times, it is what led me on my two decade journey to finally discover exactly what the issue was, and the issue was not me, it was a  horrid social/mental disorder of which my parents suffered called NPD.

npd meme father 2

Recently, I mentioned it was discovered that I have autism. I mentioned this to several relatives, close relatives (or as close a birth relatives that I might have).  One does not “catch autism” as if it is an airborne disease, it is congenital.  One relative had nothing to say except, “Well we didn’t know much about autism back then.”  I followed up, “Why wasn’t I tested?”  She continued, “Well if we didn’t know much about anything why would we have you tested?”  I responded, “Then why at age 6 was I hidden away in an attic far removed/isolated from my other two siblings?  (radio silence).  I knew then my parents knew there was indeed something very different about me. It turned out not to be a disease, but a gift.  But a gift of which they were ashamed, since it was so different.

When emailed from me to one blood relative of my autism he replied, “Funny, I have a bit of dyslexia and I volunteer with some local doctors and we get great results. I’m very interested in yours. Please tell me more as my wife’s niece has a mild case of it, hence we have it on both sides of the family”. (In other words, “Shut up, Rick. You’re making a big deal over nothing.  Sorry your autism was never diagnosed. Live with it.  The rest of us are doing just fine with my wife’s niece with her mild case.”)

Unless he is totally naive, which is very possible, I think he thought I’d listen to his garbage and just let it go.  He thought so very wrong.  I will one day let it go. though, but of course that’s another season. Now is not that season. Now that I am in touch with it, know what it is, and finally know what it is I am battling and learning to grow, develop, and learning to live comfortably with  it, I won’t stop, especially give the NPD/flying monkeys experience, until the world is aware.  That is a promise. If anything happens to me, there are 25 others writing with me.  It’s way too late for them to continue the flying monkey routine and think it is productive. If anything it is simply more “grist for the mill” for our publishing and/or productions. 

My life Lee seems to have a very instinctual understanding of it all, and is very supportive.  I am very lucky for that.   I get so much more done in my personal life, my business life, and now my educational life (that is in helping others understand what is happening to them with NPD and/or un-diagnosed autism/Apserger’s; and “flying monkeys and cruel/ignorant families. 

He added, “In 4th grade mom and dad learned I had ADD so mom threw me a Valium, put me on my bike and sent me to school. It’s a wonder I ever made it to adulthood”. 

Hence the isolation and subsequent mental abuse.  Possibly a part of them felt the abuse would “change those differences”.  I had tics, I blinked my eyes incessantly, I flailed my hands and numerous other obvious movements. Healthy parents would have at least had their child assessed by a child psychologist. Even a mediocre one in those days knew enough about autism to know it was “not something to be cured” but something to be educated in a different manner (special education) and in my case it would have simply been “the gifted program” and I would have fared quite well.

Keep in mind after the parents are deceased, with nothing, of course, but unfinished business, not just with their scapegoat but with their golden child and lost child, what happens.  Long before the parents are deceased, the siblings of the scapegoat learn they can join in with the abuse, and this for the most part keeps the focus off them, and their imperfections. 

Remember, NPD is all about ambiance, (the way things look and seem to the general public) and they must seem as perfect as humanly possible; even if that means “creating a scapegoat” as “the one who is always trying to mess things up”. 

That scapegoat actually is, but not because he/she wants to, because he/she has to. He/she has been programmed by the sick parents to do so, and if they don’t, they are often punished.  This is the parent’s “alarm bell” to say to them, “See, we are perfect and we are doing the best we can, but we’ve been cursed with this “demon child” who cannot do anything but wrong.   And wrong I could do. I must have responded to my programming with such preciseness, they were quite proud (while badmouthing me the whole time).

npd meme 9

A recent flying monkey reared his ugly head not more than a few months ago.  He lives in Houston and contacted several local businessmen of which I have a good relationship.  They wondered why, if he had a gripe with me, he didn’t simply contact me.  He grew up in this area, but really didn’t know them or vice versa.  One spilled the beans and let me know what he was up to.  I contacted the ADA (Americans With Disability Act).

When I tell you they are on your side (if you have a disability, and believe me you do whether you have autism or NPD or both).  The casting of aspersions stopped as rapidly as they started.  I called for a complete federal investigation (and would again next I hear of one).  I now have heart disease and high blood pressure (and civil rights) and if they do anything to affect my health due to my disability (and now that is what the flying monkey business is about), they are asking for prison time.  And I am willing to help them pack their bags.  I can no longer be run over, not by them, and not by an unsuspecting third party they “recruit in innocence”. 

They healthy places I’m now going in my life, they don’t “want to go there”.  And not because they wouldn’t if they could, it’s because they can’t go there.  They are no longer invited along.  They do not have the honor of my company, even in proxy.  They will have to create their own new fantasy life that does not include me.  Many do not understand that yet. They will when my book and subsequent film is produced, though.  They’re writing the ending.  They simply aren’t aware of that fact yet.  Maybe now they are.  They’ve been writing it for the past 1.5 years.  I hope they like what they’ve written thus far.

I mention that part of the story because one cannot do enough for narcissists.  The “scapegoat role” is way much more important than anything so temporary and expected as risking ones life to save there’s.  Thankfully there are still people alive who remember that incident, and I believe the fire and police departments keep that kind of thing on record. 

npd flying monkey 2 meme

Never try to satisfy a narcissist. They do not look at you as human, only as a tool to further their role as victim and covert abuser. Mark Twain knew that. Jung knew that, Virginia Satir knew that, and for your own peace of mind, please learn and know that.

Twain possibly knew more (by instinct, not training) than any other in contemporary history on the dysfunctional family.  Often he felt it necessary to describe it from a child’s point of view.  Huckleberry Finn is chock full of quotes regarding this type dysfunctional family as well as other dysfunctional type family dynamics. 

Mark Twain Quote

If you are someone’s flying monkey, do the healthy thing and distance yourself. If you find yourself unable, get professional help. They will give you the tools to do so. 

Pioneer NPD vs Healthy Family therapist Virginia Satir understood the dynamics of an NPD family possibly better than anyone. 

Here are her “Five Freedoms”…..

npd virginia Satir

If you find you are the family scapegoat of an NPD family, find a way to get the information into the community. 

This type family crisis is fixable, or at least treatable so that the amount of abuse and flying monkeys are minimal, and you get to lead the productive healthy life you deserve.  But first one must confront every “demon”, and stop worrying about making waves.  As Shakespeare most briefly stated, “To thine own self be true”. 

jung wolf

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Rick London is an author, songwriter, cartoonist and gift & clothing designer.  He is best known for his Google #1 ranked Londons Times Offbeat Cartoons & Funny Gifts.  He also has the condition of autism/Asperger’s and is an adult child of NPD parents.