Bathroom jokes aren’t funny,
And my hair is real gray,
Lookin’ for my dentures,
And Poligrip paste.
I get shingles relief with hot cayenne,
Glad I got the extra strength leg and arm brace,
My sleep apnea sounds like machine guns,
My alarm clock doesn’t phase.
In the shower I try to remember,
Who are my friends on facebook,
Gas X reduces wind,
At least I’m not 6 feet under.
Yeah darlin’ got a case of Depends,
Not quite Magic Mike’s love embrace,
I smoked medicinal pot once but didn’t inhale,
But the brownies sent me to space.
I play Lawrence Welk real loud,
We are bored, bored and we’re mild,
Wow Weren’t Golden Girls so wry,
I’m usin’ ammonia-free dye.
Rick London is a parody songwriter, poet, author, cartoonist and designer. He founded Google’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoons & funny gifts & funny tees. He is married to nature photographer and designer Lee Hiller-London who owns the popular LeeHillerDesigns which sells many online gifts at affordable prices. Together they live in the beautiful Ouachita Mountains of Arkansas where they hike often and commune with nature. Follow them on Twitter: @RickLondon and @LeeHillerLondon.